Don't call me that name

I haven't written in a bit, and I felt like writing. I plan on unlocking this diary soon because I don't really think anyone will try and read it now. Not to mention I just don't care. I don't intend on writing about people as much as I used to or how I used to. There aren't any links to this diary on my Facebook or Twitter, and most people have forgotten about this diary, at least those who know about it. I plan on keeping it that way. But I just want more than one person reading this thing, and I'm not sure why.

I started another blog about my feelings. I don't think I will post everything in there though. I plan on trying to post in it once a week, but I am already behind on that. I kind of need to have a planned topic to write about, and right now I don't really have one. There's a lot going on in my head.

One thing that is kind of bugging me is this Meetup group that I'm in. I started going to it late last summer, and it was fun, but school and my work schedule made it hard to go once summer ended. I told them that, and when I came back for a Halloween party, they treated me differently. I was acting up on Facebook a lot during that time period in the middle, not to mention I lost my job and went kind of crazy. So I have to wonder if it's that.

I went to another Meetup with them in December to learn how to knit, and that was okay, but I still felt a bit left out. They're having a Meetup in February, and I plan on going, but I don't know if I'll have fun.

I offered to carpool to the party because it's on the outskirts of Boston and I figured it would be a nice thing to do. There are people who live about 40 minutes away and also want to go, but I don't think they have a way there. Anyway, I posted that I was willing to drive a car if they needed another one, but no one even said anything. I don't know why, but it just made me feel left out. I'm probably going to end up taking the T in, which means I can't stay late.

Not to mention the boy I said I thought I liked is in said Meetup, and is a HUGE part of the group. He's nice to me, but I kind of get the feeling that I'm not at the same level as the rest of them. It's a shitty feeling and I'm thinking of not going to another Meetup in the group after this. It doesn't help that I said they should shut down the Post Office and have a private company run it on Facebook, and one of his fellow friends got into a debate with me about it. I think he was even implying that I am some kind of crazy Republican who thinks that the government should do almost nothing for the citizens.

So now I look really stupid, too. If I didn't already before. I have to admit, I'm kind of sad about that. I have really bad luck when it comes to guys, and it seems like every guy, at some point, seems like he is going to be the one I go out with, and then something stupid happens. I'm basically just waiting for it at this point, but it probably already has. I'm really sick of being alone, not to mention worried that people think I'm some sort of freak or something.

I have to go to class now, but I'll write more soon, hopefully. I can't believe I am writing about the same things I was writing about over ten years ago. It feels a bit pathetic, I swore things would be different by now. Sigh.-*Duck*

<< Tuesday, Jan. 22, 2013@5:40 p.m.>>


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My name is Racecar, and I'm a music composition major at URI. I'm a senior this year and so I'm getting ready to both finish college and head out into the real world. Join me on my adventure, won't you?