I thought I was having a good day today, but stuff has gone kind of sour. The phone is messed up again, so Dad is going to call the cable company tomrrow. Not only that, but he talked to the people at work and they gave him the same damn list I printed online, which hasn't been updated in at least a year. I'm honestly thinking of just getting my own health plan so that I know which doctors I can go to and get some better ones. Also, my health problem came back, right after I had finished cleaning all of the clothing that it had messed up, too. I really don't want to talk to my doctor about it, it was the wrong idea to go to her in the first place since nothing changed. My Grandma said I should go to the other doctor over there because he is a real doctor and is very good in comparision to the person I've been going to. I just worry he will say the same things and be even harder to see because he'll have even more patients in the hospital. I just feel like I can't win these days.
I did go to Wet Seal and get some capris, I really need to lose twenty pounds though, I was even thinking of losing forty, but I know some people would say I'm too thin. I would really just like to be able to buy regular jeans for twenty dollars instead of going to Express and paying fifty. They stretch out really badly, too. I also learned that it wouldn't take as many credits to do my liberal arts degree. I just really feel bummed out today, I'm so lonely, I can't even describe how lonely and helpless I feel, I just feel like no one out there gives a shit about me and never will, either.
I wonder what I'm worth because I can't get a boyfriend if my life depended on it. Guys don't even look at me or anything and I haven't been asked out in a very long time. I don't even have that many friends, not anyone I feel really connected with. These days with Carbon, it's always something, there's always some damn mess going on, and it's hard for her to do anything with me because of that. I can relate becuase my family is fucking dumb and fights all the time, too. I hate families, they're honestly good for nothing, I feel like I came from a chicken, not a real woman.
I'm just not in a good mood, I probably should write because it just bums out the people who read it, if anyone does besides weirdos who find it from google. I usually don't go to links of people's diaries and you can usually tell when it is. I'll try to write more tomorrow hopefully I'll have a better day. Bye.
*Racecar*
<< Wednesday, Apr. 12, 2006@10:52 p.m.>>