There's really little going on. I went over Hydrogen's house today, and it was kind of boring. We hung out for a few hours, and we listened to music to pick stuff for her party. Then, when her friend, Barium came home, we hung out with her, and that's when things began to go downhill.
I don't know why, but whenever Hydrogen and Barium are hanging out together, I always feel left out. It's like Hydrogen purposely forgets me. Not only that, but all she could talk about today was her new boyfriend. Coffee Cake this, Coffee Cake that, all day. She even talked to him on the phone, but only Barium and Hydrogen talked to him, not me, which also made me feel left out. I don't think he likes me either.
It's just that Barium and Hydrogen talk about boys all the time, and even when Barium got jealous because she no longer has a boyfriend, Hydrogen set her up with one of Coffee Cake's friends, and they made this whole plan up, so that they could all go to the movies together. The whole time this went on, I guess they "forgot" about me. I don't know how you can forget about a whole person like that, but they did.
I'm just pisseed, because Barium's had boyfriends before, so it's not like she's never had a boyfriend in her life, like I have. I just don't get why no one sets me up with anybody, and why Hydrogen always has to forget about me. She even decided not to go to my 4th of July party, and didn't even call me about it.
I swear, it feels like the only reason she called me today was to make me feel bad. I always feel bad when I call her or she calls me, and I really don't know if I should be her friend anymore. It's not that I don't like her, but she just doesn't seem to care about how I feel at all, and here I am, writing a whole entry about it, that even if I told her to read, she would never read.
I just hate the way everyone doesn't seem to think I have feelings. No one ever calls and I don't think most wonder whether I'm depressed or mad or sad or glad at all. It's not like I don't want a boyfriend. You don't know how abnormal I feel. I'm going to be sixteen in October, and I have never even held a guy's hand, I've never talked to a guy I truly liked for over two minutes. I just don't understand what the hell is wrong with me, and how come my friends never try to help me. I think that I should just give up on guys, they don't like me anyway. At least that's what I've learned. I think I'm growing too big for my sky, and I don't even feel at home there anymore, in fact, I feel like I never did. Monday truly is the worst day of the week.
_Grape_Cloud_
<< Monday, Jul. 15, 2002@10:30 p.m.>>