Probably not. I'm at home, writing this because I'm too lazy to update during the week. I honestly have no idea how I am getting through all of this, but I am, probably by the skin of my teeth. I don't think I have Senioritis, I just have a sickness of my own school. If I went to another school, I'm sure that I would probalby like it more. I'm kind of sick of most of the people that go to my school, too. Even the cute guys get on my nerves, mostly because the ones that are cute know they're cute and act like assholes about it. But, most guys in my school would never pay any attention to me, even if I was having a panic attack in the middle of class, which is what happened during my last English class.
I don't know why it happened, I just know that I felt really fed up and angry with my life, a feeling I've been having constantly lately. It made me sad, too, so I just started crying, but I also was really nervous about the things that were going on. I basically just couldn't breathe right, which has happened to me millions of times before. I felt bad, because Carbon looked very miffed, as did my English teacher. I honestly don't know if I'll ever be able to face the guy in Instrumental Workshop that I like, Parmesan. I haven't told many people that I like him, Carbon is the only one who knows who he is. Though Dancer will know by the end of the week, I promise. Hydrogen will know, too, if I see her at all.
So, I'm kind of afraid to walk into Instrumental Workshop tomorrow, not that the feeling isn't normal for me. I don't think I'll ever love that class the way everyone else in it does. I expected it to be more serious and I don't feel like the people in it think I'm an equal to them.
I saw Parmesan (I'm sorry if I keep spelling it wrong, I'm really lazy right now) on Friday. He didn't even notice me he was walking through the hallway with a look of pure bliss on his face. I'm pretty sure he didn't even see me, I don't know if his eyes could see much of anything, the way they looked. I suspect he has a girlfriend, because most guys in the hallway don't look that way, even some guys who have girlfriends. Although the dilusional ones, like Perscocho, always look like that, even when they're failing all their classes. I have the feeling Parmesan just isn't one of those guys, though. He seems to stare off into space a ton, though, but he does ignore the poodle. Who wouldn't love a guy who does that?
I'm not trying to make too much of a big deal of tomorrow anyway. For some reason, I find myself look forward to college more and more every day. I went to a College Fair today with my Dad, who actually took the day off for me. I got a bunch of things from different colleges, including Bridgewater State and URI. I haven't told my guidance counselor about wanting to go to any college other than URI, basically because I don't like or trust him anymore. He kind of laughed at me when I told him I wanted to major in music, the jerk. I think I'm just going to cut him out of the rest of my senior year entirely.
There's not much else left to say. I spent yesterday at the T.F. Green Airport with Carbon, watching people from Coventry, England come to Coventry, Rhode Island. One of them tapped my tummy like I was the Pillsbury Doughboy, though I'm not, at least not yet! They were kind of interesting and I love the English accents they had. There was a cute boy who came last year, but he didn't come this year. We held up a banner for the people for about two hours before they even came, though. It was mildly embarassing, but kind of fun, too. Basically, it was a way to pass the time.
Right now, I have to fill out an application to work at CVS, my senior cap and gown order form and write a Shakespearean sonnet about myself. I'll let you know how that goes if I ever finish it, it seems kind of hard, though it's probably not. I also have to make a folder to go with it, which I think will be yet another hard part. I'm going to start working on it after I have dinner, which I will have now. Wish me luck!
*Racecar*
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