Today is my birthday, though I'm up late because I was playing guitar. I'm trying to work on my mid term for Jazz Ensemble, but I think it's going to be hard to do well.
Not much has been going on lately. I worked over the weekend and it was kind of boring. I got a job at CCRI and I'm thinking of working both jobs because I need the money and neither job is giving me enough hours. I need to get my car fixed soon because the primer won't last through the winter and that won't be cheap. I want to find a shop that won't screw me over because I don't think Ray Stewart's does a very good job, but my Dad doesn't know any places which pisses me off because I feel like if I go alone they will screw me over.
I'm tired and there's this boy I can't stop thinking about but I don't know what to do about him. That's why I haven't been writing lately, I've just been spending so much time thinking about him it's ridiculous. I've even asked the Magic 8 Ball if he could like me. I don't think he will though, only because of the way I look. He likes Spanish girls and I honestly look Irish to most people who meet me, even though I'm not. I wish I wasn't so pale and that my eyes were brown. I don't like my body, either, I wish I was tall and curvy, instead of short and lumpy. It seems like any guy that would like me is usually some guy who has a girlfriend or who I'm not attracted to. It doesn't seem like there's a cool guy out there who likes me, too.
I guess it just bums me out. I want someone to go to concerts with who will drive once in a while. Honestly, driving everyday gets old, fast, even though I love my car, there are just some places I will not drive it. There's also this song I've been listening to that reminds me of this boy. I'll post the song in squareone, but I've already bought the cd and the tickets to a concert the band is playing up in Worcester, which is an hour and a half from where I live. I don't know who, if anyone, will go with me, but I don't want to go alone.
I feel weird liking someone so much, I haven't liked anyone this much in four years, so it feels new all over again. I wish it would work out this time for me, though. I don't like being single all the time, I don't know anyone who does. I hope to find someone before I turn thirty, to be in at least one serious relationship before then and hopefully be married by then, but I don't want to put pressure on myself now, that always seems to make things worse. I think I am going to say hi to him today, but I'm not sure how or what else to say, I'm sure he'll wonder how the heck I found him and I'll probably tell him the truth (we both have the same favorite band and album). I will write more later today. I wanted to go mini golfing today, but I can't because I don't think I know anyone who has enough money. It kind of makes me want to cry, I'm not sure why though. Bye.
*Racecar*
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