I feel bad about not writing here much anymore. I usually write in my MySpace blog, because it seems like more people read that then read this. I'm thinking of deleting my MySpace, mostly because of the guys on there. They honestly creep me out with how desperate they are. I've had two guys write me, and one keeps writing me at least once a week, but usually more. If I write back to him, he writes me every other day. He just creeps me out, considering he often talks about how we should go to Boston together. Seriously, I haven't even met him in real life,and he's talking about going to a place where I don't go often. There is no way I would go to Boston with someone I hadn't known for at least six months, if not a year. Heck, I wouldn't even go with my friend Jody, but that is because she has bad vision and if I got lost, she wouldn't be of much help. I talked to him on my cell phone once (I know, I was an idiot for giving him my number, though he hasn't called since) and it was like talking to my uncle.
The other guy talked to me a bunch of times when I wrote him back, but he got the hint not to keep messaging me unless I actually responded to him, so that didn't bother me too much. I just hate the way people on there are so desperate. What leads people to do that kind of stuff? I mean, I was crazy about Tristan, but I NEVER wrote to him more than once a week, even though that probably doesn't sound believable to you. I liked him, but I tried not to bother him too much, because I thought it would seem stalker like, and I only wrote him more than once a week if he replied to my message.
I haven't been up to much this week. I worked on my sonata some more, but I probably did it wrong, so I'll spend Sunday and Monday fixing it, because I'll probably see the teacher Tuesday. My Dad actually got a PS3 just like he said he would, and I got Grand Theft Auto 4, which is fun to play, even though I'm bad at it. I killed about five people and hit a few street lights just trying to get to the hardware store, but Nico doesn't help with all his talk of money and women, it's distracting. It took me about five tries just to get through the mission where you drive away from some loan sharks. I am on the Playstation Network, my name is Grapecloud if anyone wants to play or anything. I only have GT4 now, because I can't afford anything else. I have a Wii as well, if anyone wants my Wii friend code, but I'm too lazy to look it up now. Is it just me, or is the friend code the biggest pain in the ass? It took me three tries to get Lee's right.
I went to see the Bleach movie tonight. It was good, and I liked it better in English than in Japanese, which is true for most episodes of Bleach as well. I know a lot of people hate dubs, but it just makes it easier to understand what the characters are saying, and they often translate things on walls and chalkboards that subbers don't. There was a crucial plot point at the end that I didn't understand in the sub that I understood in the dub because of that. I didn't cry like the first time I saw it though. I am sad that it won't be out on video until the winter, because I really did enjoy it. They added a behind the scenes look at the movie as well, which was neat. The kids in there were really loud though, and every time a character that they liked came on, they would make lots of noise. In a way, it was probably the most fun I have had at a movie all year, and probably last year as well.
That's the one thing I hate about movies lately, it seems like no one is really into them anymore. I mean, you could tell that all the kids in the theater were psyched to see Bleach on the big screen, and I was, too. The sound was good, the animation was good. I just wish they would put the money they use for the movies into the show instead, because the animation as of late has been pretty bad, and they still use the same incidental music they were using in episode 1 (they're on 174 now, so it's gotten pretty old). Still, it was fun and the story wasn't that bad, better than the filler arc that is going on right now, but the movie was/is filler as well.
I just notice when I went to see the Indiana Jones movie, no one really seemed excited, maybe because it plays for months and plays five times a day. I just kind of miss that. I love it when you're in a place and everyone around you is into what's going on. It made me feel less alone, and happy. The only time I felt bad was when I left the theater and realized I was alone again. It sucked to come home and not be able to tell my Dad about the movie, knowing he wouldn't get it. I couldn't tell my Grandma, or my friend Jody, because they don't get it, either. I really need to make new friends, but it's hard to do when you have no job, no money and a ton of work to do.
I got a haircut today, which came out okay. I can't honestly tell that it's any shorter, it seems like he just cut the split ends off. I really thought he would do something more drastic, considering it had been a day over six months since I had last gotten my hair cut. I went to a different hairdresser, this guy I went to today does my Grandma's hair. I just liked going with her because she talked to the hairdresser so I didn't have to. There's something about talking to someone who is cutting your hair while you're holding onto your glasses for dear life that makes it hard to have a normal conversation.
I'm going to get my hair cut and highlighted again in August, which I don't care about. I'm also going to go out sometime next month (I think) to get a dress for my cousin's wedding. I am honestly dreading it because I have gained weight these past two years and I look like shit now. I really need to lose weight, but it's hard when you have no energy, but everyone says I need to expend energy to get energy. Where the heck do I get it if I don't have any? Do I steal it from someone?
I don't know. I'm just depressed right now. Sometimes it feels as though I am in a tunnel that I can't get out of. I don't know if there is a light out of all of this darkness.
I was going to work on my story, but I'm so tired. I don't feel like working on it, anyway. It's hard for me to write something that was really just a love letter to someone, when there's no way he'll love me back. It feels futile, even though I think anyone who reads this knows I have a love of cataloging my feelings. I might try and work on it some more over the weekend or something, or maybe when I get the monkey that is the sonata off my back. Who knows when that will be, though.
Anyway, I should go to bed. I don't even think Comedy Central is showing programming anymore, just infomercials. Good night.-Kate
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