Today was a kind of weird day. I had to do some frieght that the morning girl left behind, but I did get to talk to her a bit. I left early today by about twenty minutes because the manager said I could, which was nice because Saturday is my longest day. I had a bit of a hard time working though, because my mind has been on other things.
You know my MySpace? Well, this guy who lives in Welfare Town wants to talk to me on AIM, and I'm kind of nervous. He thinks I'm cute and I think that if we got along well enough, that he would probably ask me out. I'm just kind of scared of the whole thing. I want a boyfriend, but I'm a bit afraid that I can't handle it. I have so many problems and I don't know if there is a guy out there who would be okay with them. I kept wondering about him though, like if he's lived here long, I worry he might know me from high school, since he's only a year older than me. I also wonder if this might be some kind of fake thing that someone around here has set up to trick me and make me feel bad. I mean, this town isn't very big at all and I know most people my own age and if he went to the high school, I probably would've known him since he would've been in Lithium's grade. Lithium is the type who is very outgoing and yet she's not fake or anything like Hydrogen could sometimes be, or at least it felt that way sometimes. I really hope that he is for real, because he seems to good to be true, which makes me worry he is.
I also worry that I'm not in the best shape, both mentally and physically. I remember Mr. Lambchops telling me that when he fell in love, he cared less about his appearance. I kind of don't understand that whole thing, and I wonder if anyone else out there can tell me if it's true or not. I feel like I should be watching what I eat and working out everyday, because if this goes the way I hope it goes I really feel like I will need to be in shape and stay in shape. I want to be mentally stronger as well, because I don't think he would like to see me the way I get sometimes. I have no idea where this is going really, but I just think I would really like to be in love with a guy, whether it's true love or not, I don't really care. I just want to learn to be in love and have someone love me, too. I hope that's what this guy is looking for, and not sex, because I don't think that I am ready for that, I know I am not physically, I look like I swallowed a barrel.
I know it doesn't look that way in my picture, though. I'm not nearly as big as I used to be, but I don't have muscle where my stomach is, just fat. I would like to build muscle there instead and loose most of the fat. I don't like my hips, either, they've been too big for a long time and I want to try and get them smaller and with more muscle instead of fat. I think if I start swimming for a few hours a week, that I can really see a difference in how I look and I'm going to try and shed some weight, probably about ten pounds, before the end of the summer. Even if this doesn't work out the way I want it too, I know that soon I will probably have a boyfriend, because I notice that lately, more guys are taking interest in me. I want to look good when I find a nice guy to hang out with every now and then, who I really like and who will really like me, too.
Work has been okay, though guys have been talking to me like I'm an idiot, but that always happens. I really want to try and talk to this guy. I can't keep my mind off of him and I don't know why. I feel kind of weird and I feel like an idiot if nothing happens as far as us even being friends, which I wouldn't mind, either. I'm sorry that I probably sound so boring, but nothing really happens to me at Wal-Mart. I'm going to leave the guy a note and then I'll probably get ready to go to bed, or even go to bed. Good night!
*Racecar*
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