I didn't write yesterday because I didn't really feel like it, though I don't feel like it tonight, either. I've been kind of bummed out lately because of school and work. Both seem to be getting worse at the same time and it just sucks. I feel so lonely and there's so much I want to do but no one to do anything with. I kind of wish I had more friends to share stuff with. I also was invited to a concert on Monday by Mr. Lambchop's band, but I realized I don't really like Mr. Lambchops and that I'm jealous that he has a band and I don't, even though he's always bitching about it and never doing anything. Not only that, but I can't type right now and the Jazz Ensemble isn't going to be playing in front of anyone, which really pisses me off because we worked so hard for nothing.
I'm really sick of guys, I'm starting to actually hate them, which I know is awful to say. It seems like most guys around here are total assholes. There's the pigs who drive trucks and always try to run my car off the road. I really want to go somewhere where I'll never have to drive ever again, because there are so many assholes on the road and I just want to drive my car without anyone slamming the brakes on a slight turn, not using their blinker, or cutting me off by cutting into my turn space, so if I try to turn, I risk losing half of my car. Oh, and there's the whole problem that having a VW and living in RI is like having a fucking Yugo. I can never find a good body shop to take my car to, or a good place to get parts because the dealers around here are dumb as fuck. I seriously think the last time I got parts from Fiore they gave me parts for a Pontiac or the VW Touraeg, because the boot they gave my Dad must've been two times the size of mine. I'm pretty sure no one who deals with cars anymore is reliable, mostly because people are too stupid to care these days. When 100k miles is still a lot to people, it probably means that very few people have high standards in cars. Seriously, cars are over 20k, why shouldn't I expect to go over 100k miles?
Did anyone hear about the whole Apple thing? They have made it so Apples can run Windows, which has got to be the dumbest thing ever. I wanted an Apple so I never had to deal with Windows because Windows sucks and I'm tired of having to dig out viruses on a PC. I also hate most of the anti virus programs because they're too needy, always popping something up, even if it's not important. I like not having to worry about crashes and being able to multitask, it kind of makes me feel weird to know the majority doesn't feel the same way, then again, they almost never do.
I just feel kind of bummed out, it seems like almost everybody has somebody these days, and I'm always alone. I'm not even attracted to any guys right now because they're such assholes. Every guy I meet is either cute but doesn't want anything to do with me, a fat ass who thinks I'm cute but who makes me puke because not only is he fat, but he thinks about sex all the time and SAYS when he is thinking about sex. Or, he's one of those hip hop loving idiots who doesn't vote, drives a damn SUV and thinks it's cool to drive 110. Seriously, I would rather die than date any of the above, and that's what is around here. There is no cute guy who thinks and drive a regular car and is nice to me yet interested in me as a person and isn't just being fake. I don't understand being fake, if you're going to pretend to be something you're not, then you should probably just become an actor that way you'll make money at it. I find it hard to be who I really am with people, but I won't pretend to like them unless I'm at work, in which case I'm paid to do that. Yet, people do that with me at school and I know they're not getting paid to show up. I'd love to know where the real people are all hiding and what I should be doing with my life, because all this right now just feels wrong, like fate is trying to tell me not do go through with this. All I want is to make new friends in a good college where the people WANT to be there and start my own band, I don't even care if the only people who would come would be total drunks. I just know I hate where I am right now and it's draining my energy to think about it. Good night.
*Racecar*
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