Hello! This is a normal entry. Ugh. It's just one of those days, where you have so much to do, but you really don't want to do any of it, so you stall as much as possible. That's what I'm doing right now, going to every site I know of, looking for something to read.
The only thing I did today was go swimming, and work on the notebook I'm making for summer. I'm almost done with it, but I really wish I had someone to hang out with. Hydrogen and FiFi are going camping this week, so it's only Dancer, Lithium and Helium, all of whom I kind of don't know too well. I really need to talk to them, and learn to be friends with them, but if I'm not with someone a ton, I'll become really nervous around them, wondering what they'll expect of me and stuff.
Have you ever tried to change someone, becuase deep down, you knew they were still a good person? I do that with Hydrogen all the time, I wish I could just make her remember things better, and that she wouldn't be so ignorant of other people's feelings. I still think she's a great friend, but I'm worried that when she comes back from camping, she'll be just like she was before.
I'm so worried, lately. I really don't want to go back to school, it's like hell there. I wish I could just stay like this forever, but when I get out of school, it's college, and then I have to find some job to slave over for the rest of my life. I don't even know what I'm good at yet, I guess I don't have much of a passion for anything at all. All I know is, I want to be passionate about whatever I take as a job, so I can be good at it. I know too many people who think like that, and they always end up with some shitty job, and they seem to head to a dead end. I'm afraid I'll end up just like them sometimes.
I'm worried that school is going to be like it was last year, with me feeling isolated, and struggling with everything that came towards me. I barely made it last year, and I don't know if I can just ease by again. I just hope things will be okay, and I know I sound like a loon, but I kind of am. I wish I could stop using "I" in a sentence, and I'm sure you do, too. I'll write more later.
_Grape_Cloud_
<< Monday, Aug. 05, 2002@4:45 p.m.>>