I'm sorry I haven't written in here in a while. It's not really me being busy, but rather, very lazy.
I just haven't felt like doing much besides eating and sleeping. I also like to look at and buy things, but with no real money of my own (yet), I can't do that. Heck, I've even got a few Amazon bookmarks of things I want to get, some other things I'm thinking about getting and things I actually need. I won't see any paycheck until next Wednesday or Thursday (I can't remember which day).
I started working at the Food Court in BJ's yesterday, even though I spent two days before that (and part of yesterday) training. It's not that hard, but there is a lot to do and keep track of, which requires a lot of writing and remembering. I have a good memory, so I'm not too worried. It's just odd to be trained by a few different people, who all have different ways of doing things. Since it's food that I'm working with, I feel I'm going to be pretty anal about stuff, probably moreso than the people I work with. I'm worried at the idea of working a register, cooking food and making sure my area is clean. I'm worried I'll miss something, because I used to do that, even at Wal Mart, where I feel there was less responsibility and I wasn't always alone. Here, I will be alone every night, with a bit of overlap, but only of two hours at the most. It's not like the place is very busy, I'm just worried I'll forget how or when to do something, or that I'll end up leaving too much for the last minute.
I played guitar before I went to work, so when I got home, I didn't have to worry about it. I haven't done much since I got home, besides get milk and eat. I don't feel like doing anything, either. I had to wash my clothes because my guitar teacher called this morning, telling me I have a jury tomorrow. I honestly don't think it's fair at all, I mean, he told me he would call me or e-mail me, but I figured he would do it sometime last week, like Thursday or Friday. To tell me the damn day before, which gives me little to no time to prepare, it pisses me off. I honestly can't remember what I'm supposed to wear, if it's concert dress (which is bs) or not. I don't think it is, so I'm just going to wear my new green dress and my black flats, which I need to replace because they're two years old and I use them for everything, even as slippers sometimes.
I haven't done much else. I might be going to see the Batman movie on Thursday, because my Dad wants to. I guess I don't want to though, because I am sick of hearing about it. I'm just not into superheros, though I would rather Batman than Spiderman, I hate Spiderman. I hated the second movie the most though, which everyone loved and said was better than the first. I mean, why is it that almost every superhero HAS to have a love interest? Do they realize that not everyone has a love interest at all times? I don't have one now, at least I don't think I do. I guess it's because people read comic books and stuff to escape their lives, so they want something that is escapism, but I like characters and situations that I can relate to. I can usually find at least a few things in a every story like that, but I just don't care about that superhero stuff. I guess that's why those movies bore me, and even some comic books (which I know is weird because I read manga).
I'm going to get ready to go to bed now, because I'm really tired. I just want to keep this slightly up to date. I'd rather update here than my MySpace because there's this guy who reads my blog on there (I think he does, at least). It's one of the reasons I never even mention this diary on my MySpace, because there are people on there who could read this and take things the wrong way. I would rather have this than MySpace. I mean, there are a few people on there who know about this place, but that's because I told them and wanted them to know (I'm not sure if they still read this or not, though). What I mean to say is, there are guys on MySpace that are desperate and creepy, they always manage to find me, and it bothers me. I don't have anyone to really bitch about it to, either. Most of my friends on MySpace are in relationships, so no one looks for them, but those that aren't seem upset that they don't have someone.
I do want someone, and I've wanted someone for the past six years (no one has come along, though, at least no one I really cared for). I just don't think that now is a good time, or I always find a reason why I should say no. I don't know what it is with me, it's like, every guy I want, I can't be with. Every guy that wants me, I find repulsive. I sometimes wonder if I'm asexual or not, there are honestly times when I want no one at all. I just really want someone to share things with, but most guys I run into are desperate for any girl, and I don't want to be some stupid placeholder for someone until something better comes along.
I'm going to go to bed now. I'll write sometime soon about how the jury goes. Sadly, I don't think I care how it goes. I have no idea what is going on with my mind lately, it's a little worrying.-Kate
<< Tuesday, Jul. 29, 2008@11:49 p.m.>>