Today hasn't been a good day. I did a ton of stuff, but I didn't feel good all day. It started when I woke up, because I was tired from last night and I didn't sleep well the night before that. I've lost my retainer and I need to look for it after this because I can't sleep without it. I can, but I worry and suck my thumb and I don't know why. I'm so fucking irritated I'm eighteen and I suck my thumb, I know it's not intentional, but I don't know why I do it and the only thing that stops me is my retainer. I feel so embarassed even typing that, it feels like me saying I wet the bed. I don't do it intetnionally, I don't know why I do it at all, it's probably some stupid mental problem I have.
Anyway, I didn't do well on my ear training stuff in Sight Singing and Ear Training Class. They were talking about cars and how bad Volkswagens and Fords are, which kind of makes me feel bad, but that's probably stupid, too. I can't really say I like the new Fords, but they made the damn Mustang, you can't argue that that car isn't a classic. I like the Five Hundred though and the Taurus was nice, but I would never drive either of them. I like my car, too, so it kind of makes me feel bad that my teacher was saying Volkswagens aren't reliable, I think it depends on where you get one and if it's used, who had it before you. My car was well taken care of before I got it, and even now it's okay, I want to do some stuff to it, but other than that, I really don't think that there is anything wrong with it. I would buy another Jetta in a heartbeat. I just think it's weird how no one around here likes Fords, everyone I know except my Dad and myself, hates them. Even my Dad's friend only really likes German cars (he has a ton of different ones, even a few Benzs and Audis). I'm suprised all the Ford dealers around here are still in business. I think if Ford made some nice small, economical cars,that they would be more popular. The Focus is too tight inside, at least compared to a Jetta, but I don't think they're in the same category. I like more arm room than there is in the Focus.
I have to go after school and work on my Ear Training. I'm getting it, but it's coming slowly. Then, later on in the day, I had Jazz Ensemble and Tuesday is the day Dr. Stick visits and he is such an ass. He basically lectured me for an hour and he wouldn't let me fix my mistakes because he wanted me to see where I was making them. He even swore at me, though I think it was in jest, it still made me cry because I am fucking wuss (I actually think the F word is the one he used on me). I don't know what chords to use anymore, I've been using the wrong ones for weeks and I can't believe how stupid I was. It's irritating to do something so wrong and have a bunch of other people hear about it, too. It was as if he was telling them when I was going to have pms, it was just embarassing. I did better after he left, but I still felt like shit and I do right now, too.
I just don't know what to do anymore. I feel like I can't keep up with my peers and it sucks having the mind of a sped. I know I'm not, but I'm so damn slow I feel like one compared to everyone else. I'm going to go do some more ear training before I go to bed. I have to get up early to do some work because I'm working tomorrow night. I came home early last night because it was snowing, just like it is now. Grrr. I really wish they would cancel school, but I know it's just a damn dream. I really need the sleep. I came home early and it honestly felt like sledding last night instead of driving because there were no plows out or any sand on the road. I did slide a bit, but not as bad as I thought I would. I'll write more later. Bye!
*Racecar*
<< Tuesday, Mar. 01, 2005@10:02 p.m.>>