I have spent most of the weekend working. The Oscars are on right now and it's really bumming me out, because the tribute to Johnny Carson was on. He was so damn funny, I feel really bummed that he died, just as much as I did when I found out. I wonder if anyone around right now will be as revered as him. I don't really like the Oscars, but I really wanted to hear Chris Rock's jokes, because he's funny. I thought it was funny how my Grandma had never heard of him, if you ever saw any of his HBO specials, he's not my Grandma's type of guy. Yet, even she thinks he is funny tonight, so I think that's a good thing.
Ugh. The lead singer of the Couting Crows has got to be the ugliest guy around, I swear, his face is so fat. I can't even believe that song was nominated for an Oscar, because I don't think their music is that great and I always considered them a '90's band and I think their time has kind of passed. I also wonder why some songs have tons of writers on them, do you know what I mean? I don't get that at all, because I think one person can write a song and the song will be fine. Some of my favorite songs have been written by only one person, so I don't like it when about five people have written one, though I know in bands writing songs is usually a collabartive thing, so in a way it makes sense, but not when there's just one singer who has a differing band.
I worked last night from four to ten and it was okay. It gets weird there when it closes. I hate the way people will come in to look for shoes five minutes before the store closes. In my opinion, it takes a little longer than that and you still have to check out before you leave. I also hate it when they touch the slippers, I don't even think Wal-Mart should sell slippers. They're not the kind that come in a box or on the little hangers that bother me, it's those cheap ones that are tied together and put in a box. The people love to throw those all over the floor and there never seems to be enough room in the boxes to fit all the shoes. Someone broke a box on my break yesterday and it pissed me off that they didn't say anything to anyone. I don't know why no one has tried to tape it together or get another box, but it's made something that's already hard harder.
Doesn't "Sideways" kind of sound like a dumb movie? I read it's about wine tasters. I don't even know anyone who drinks wine, it could be because I'm young and I don't like to think of my peers that way. I just don't like the idea of watching a movie about a bunch of people talking about something I can't experience. I think it must be so awesome to win an Oscar though, I would have one big party after that, it would kind of be like what prom should have been. I've never really won anything big before, but I think it would be fun, although it must suck to be standing up in front of all those people and lose. I'm not even sure why I care about all of this.
I worked today with this girl who used to work in shoes. I also saw a bunch of kids from high school. I saw Chip Chop which was embarassing, I always seem to see him when I'm doing CBLs (dumb training things they make you do) and I never know what to do or what to say. I'm still embarassed about what happened two years ago and I worry he remembers and is embarassed, too. I should've just shut my fucking mouth, but I didn't realize until afterward what I should have done. I hate situations like that because that seems to be the only way I learn anything. Anyway, I never know what to do or say when he is around. If he asks, I plan to lie to him and say I have a boyfriend and stuff, just because then it's not so embarassing and it doesn't look like I'm waiting for him or anything, because I'm not. I don't even like him anymore, I like a few other guys, including two who I still really like, though I'm not sure why. I'm thinking of trying to look for one of them and talk to the other, but there is no way in Hell anything could happen with either of them, not even a friendship, because I don't know where one is and the other intimidates me like you wouldn't believe. I don't really think that there are any guys right now that I know who will become my boyfriend, but I wouldn't know what that feeling is like so I really don't know.
Then there's this other kid named Ducky, they really call him that over the store intercom, too. He can quack like a duck and people have been calling him that since ninth grade, at least, probably even before that. He keeps looking at me weird, like I'm a ghost or something. I did try to talk to him, I wanted to be like Duckman and say "What the hell are you starin' at?" but I doubt he would repsond and I don't think I can swear. I bet no one remembers that show, it was an adult cartoon on USA in the mid ninties, it was kind of vuglar, but I liked it, then again, I also watched Beavis and Butthead, so as far as cartoons go, I like them lowbrow. Anyway, I have no idea why he looks at me weird, I think he probably wonders why I am still in Welfare Town and probably half the town knows by now where I am. I also saw a girl from my English class last year who is a cahsier there, she told me it's a shitty job. It kind of does sound sucky. All I have to do is listen to screaming kids and pick up shoes, while she has to listen to screaming kids, and handle money. I hate the idea of handling money, it would make me so nervous and that would make me screw up a ton.
I have to go to bed now, because I have to be up early tomorrow. I'll write more Tuesday when I might not have school. I hope not because I need the break. It's weird how in first semseter you're not as tried but by second, you're half dead and dying for summer to come. Every day I think about it being over fifty and it makes me want to keep on. I just want to go to some concerts, go to the drive in and sit outside and watch the fireflies. It is supposed to be really cold this week and we're supposed to have a possibly big snowstorm tomorrow night. I'm working of course, but I have so much faith that my car will get me home fine you would think I'm crazy and I probably am, but it keeps me going. Anyway, if it's bad enough, we might not have school, I really hope not. I'll write more later. Bye!
*Racecar*
P.S.-The title is not true, I'm not that brain damaged, though some people are.
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