I figured I would write in here really quickly, since I haven't written in over a week. I had spring break last week, and in usual Racecar tradition, I was super lazy. I worked for a couple of days (five, which felt like a million), I hung out with Renesmee twice. Once, we went to Best Buy, Borders and the Emerald Square Mall, including FYE, which we affectionately call "Fuck You Everybody". I think it's now my favorite store because of that name. I got a DVD, which I've started watching recently. I also got a book, but I haven't started that yet, which I will explain below.
That was on Monday, on Tuesday, I went to the Museum of Science with my Dad. It was fun, and it wasn't busy, but it was cold out. I wanted to go to Borders, but we went to Barnes and Noble instead. I got the first two Full Metal Panic novels, but I haven't read them yet, either. I figured it would be good reading for school, because I hate reading manga at school. Since it's printed from right to left, the books are right to left, so it looks as though I am reading a book backwards when I'm not. I have the most time to read at school of course (especially on Tuesdays), so it sucks to sit in the Fine Arts Center, reading a book backwards. I sometimes hide it because of the covers, especially shojo, because I don't want anyone I know to know I read comic romance novels. We also got some cookies at a nice bakery there, but my Dad is an idiot and got the wrong ones. Who messes up buying cookies? I really think he is losing it.
Then I worked Wednesday. Thursday, I was going to go to my Grandma's and I ended up going late because I had to stay for the cable guy. They had no idea what they were doing, and disconnected my PS3. They connected the cable box, and there was sound, but only in one speaker. It turns out the left speaker on the TV is broken and since the TV is huge and almost seven years old, we're going to get a new one. But, we can't get a new one until Dad destroys the carpet (he's going to take it out and put in bamboo flooring, between this and the Volkswagens, I believe he thinks he is Chinese) and paints the walls. Meaning, we will get a new TV in 2012. I can't stand it, it's honestly driving me nuts to hear sound in only one speaker. He doesn't notice it at all! I'm more of a sound person than a visual person. Heck, I'm almost always doing something else while I watch TV, usually I'm playing guitar.
I did end up going to Grandma's and it was boring. We couldn't walk because it was too cold out. So, we went to Barnes and Noble (this is a recurring theme, it seems) but I didn't get anything. Then we went to FYE, and I got the Beauty and the Beast soundtrack used. We also looked around at Famous Footwear, coming to the conclusion that all the shoes there are ugly (but I do need new ones soon, I imagine they will be the same as the ones I am wearing now). We also went into American Eagle and I thought I was going to bawl my eyes out there.
First of all, this boy I like shops there, so I wanted to see what it was like in there, because I rarely shop anywhere outside of Macy's and Express (more Macy's lately, I'm too fat for Express). It's really nice in there, and it's not cheap, which is good because cheap is usually bad (you'll see what I mean when you go into an Old Navy). The worst part is, and I think I mentioned this before, he has a girlfriend now. I want to try and find out who she is, but deep down, I doubt he would like me anyway. So, that was bumming me out. Then, they started playing "Dreaming of You" by The Coral. I stayed in the store just to hear the song, but I thought I was going to lose it. I put that on the CD for Bunny, and I only even bought that CD because I used to (and probably still do) adore a boy who loved the Coral. I honestly don't like them that much, but that song is amazing. It's also one of those songs that just about breaks my heart. For the rest of the night, I was pretty depressed.
I went to the market, I keep eating the same things over and over and over, and it's making me sick of food. Then, I went to get my check at work. I worked on Friday and Saturday and Sunday. It was tiring and annoying. I wish I could just take a vacation from being myself, and be someone that people actually like. I just want some affection, and I can't seem to get any from anyone that I actually want affection from, which makes me want none at all. I don't want to be around some loser friends, or with some guy who hates everything that means something to me.
I hung out with Rensemee after work on Sunday, but it was irritating. We worked out, then she insisted I go to sleep, because I was tired, while she did her housework. I don't get how she doesn't do her housework before I come over. I mean, she got out of church at 1, and I didn't come over until 4. She doesn't have a job or go to school, so it's not like there is much else for her to do. Then we watched Lucky Star, and then I had to leave. I tried to do homework when I got home, but I was too tired.
I've been kind of irritable lately. I have this stupid project to do for my electronic music class, which I can't even work on at school because I can't get internet on my laptop unless I'm in the library. I have to meet this girl who is singing my art song for convocation and the concert next month, so I have to hang around the Fine Arts Center all day until I see her.
Anyway, this project is dumb because it's not just electronic sounds, it's with an acoustic instrument, too. I chose electric guitar, because I am a better electric player than a classical player, and I miss my electric guitars soo much. No one knows that though, so they all thought I was crazy when I said electric guitar, not to mention some other kid is doing that, too.
We have to have some kind of inspiration for our piece and I chose space, because I watched Planetes over the break. I didn't want to admit to it, though. Now, I have to find a quote that relates to space, but it's hard because none of them are what I want. I wanted to get the feeling of being in space, of being alone, the way that there is the huge distance between the stars, between you and everyone else out there. Just that feeling of loneliness, with the realization that there is light, that there is hope, and even if you feel alone, you're not. I can't find any quotes that relate to all those things, I might have to try a picture or a painting.
I'm also thinking about what I have to play for convocation on my classical guitar. It is this boring waltz that doesn't even sound like a waltz and that would put an army of insomniacs to sleep. I want to do something fun and challenging. I want to show my classmates that I am smart, and not just some idiot with a guitar. I really want to impress people, I feel like I'm the opposite of impressive.
I saw him today, this new guy. He was playing guitar and he looked cute. I really don't want to see him in history, and I hope he doesn't sit near me, because it will only make me feel worse. He fits in to the category of "guy I like who makes me feel stupid" it's a big category, and one that I hate. Sometimes I feel like I hate guys in general.
Oh, and I've been in the human equivalent of a bubble lately. I haven't been watching much regular TV outside of the usual three (30 Rock, The Office and 24). I've been watching a lot of Full Metal Panic lately. I finished the first and second seasons, and now I'm on the third, though I think the second is my favorite. It's a good show, but I want to finish it soon, I think after that, I'll take a break from anime and watch normal TV. I feel like it's messing with my mind or something. I also hope we get a new TV before the Bleach filler ends. When it gets back to cannon, I actually want to be able to hear what the characters are saying. With one speaker, I lose anything that is panned to the left, of course. Try telling that to my father, I swear he is losing his mind. Bye.-*Racecar*
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