I'm so depressed right now, and no one will talk to me, or hang out with me or anything. Dancer and Hydrogen were supposed to, but then they had a flat tire and wouldn't tell me where they were. So, I went looking for them, and I hit some ice and dented up the car. I don't want to drive anymore, honestly. I just keep screwing up that car, and it's not right.
So, I called them tons of times and they didn't tell me where they were. It's like it was one big fucking joke. Now, they won't hang out with me because it's "been a bad day". Yeah, they'll probably hang out together all day though. Right near my fucking house, probably just to show off. They were going dress shopping and weren't planning on inviting me. I fucking hate it. I mean, I have two fucking x chromosomes and nobody seems to believe that I am a girl. As far as I'm concerned, I have no friends.
I feel so awful, when the only person I can hang out with is a seventy four year old lady. I just would kill to end this pain that seems to seep into everyday, like water from a broken pipe. I have no one to talk to, either because everyone is out today. I called my Dad and he just told me he'd look at the car when he got home. I wish there was something that would end all of this. I'm not going to URI, because my life is HELL right now and I can't take much more of it. I don't know what I will do over the summer, I think I'm going to enroll in some type of a camp so I can make friends and do something.
They both fucking lied to me about what they were doing, too, which really pissed me off. Why is it okay for them to lie to me and blow me off? I don't think it is. That's why it's fucking over. With everyone, because no one wants to hang out with me and no one will give me any fucking reasons. I'm fucking depressed over here and it seems to get worse everyday, and no one seems to understand how much I really would appreciate someone being around. I wish I could just reverse my whole life, or at least talk to someone. I wish my life were better than this, and I wish that there was some kind of assurance that things will be better soon. I just can't stay here anymore. I'm going to go look online for some summer camps.
*Racecar*
<< Monday, Jan. 19, 2004@3:06 p.m.>>