Things have been kind of tough lately. I can't find anyone to go to the concert with me on Friday, which really pisses me off. It seems like everyone out there has a best friend, but me. I'm really angry about that and I feel like it's my fault that I can't maintain a human relationship with anybody. Dancer has a boyfriend now and she's shafting everyone else. It's really irritating, because he has lunch with us every fucking day and all he does is talk, talk and talk. I can never get a word in and he smells like cow ass. That's not what I want to smell when I'm eating. I'm not liking this boyfriend shit, and I've never even had one, so I'm not sure if I'd even like it then. I'd just get attached to a guy, like I get attached to everything else, and he would end up leaving me out to dry, like everyone I've ever known has. I would get really depressed, like I always do. Gee, because I don't go through that every day.
Not only that, but I didn't have a good morning. I was up late last night finishing some scholarships and I have to practice for my audtion, which is a little over a week away. I'm really worried I won't do well, even though I wish I would. Anyway, I couldn't find the folder I put them in and I got nervous. Then, these girls started making fun of me in the hallway, as fucking usual. I got mad and smashed my cd player, which broke, though not as bad as the cd inside, which smashed on contact with the ground. I went home early and my Dad replaced the cd and the player, even though I only cared about the cd.
I like my new cd player though. It's a nice Sony Sport, which means it's good for working out with, which is what I do. It also doesn't apologize when it messes up, but it beeps like all the Sonys do now. I got a video game too, which I played a bit. It's this Sonic the Hedgehog game for PS2. I miss playing Sonic games, because I used to have a Sega Genesis and those were the only games I had for a long time. It's not the same though, because it's a team thing so you can't go around with just Sonic or Tails, who was always my favorite. There's a bunch of new characters, too and they kind of suck because they're exactly like Tails, Sonic and Knuckles, except they're girly, evil or cuddly looking. The characters talk now, too and Dr. Robotnik is Dr. Egghead. It's a little disorienting and weird.
Tomorrow I have go to URI and look around. I might even be driving there, but I'm not sure. Friday I have to pick up my guitar and I'm going to the Ben Kweller concert with my Dad. I feel like I'm the only person on this Earth who knows who he is and likes him. I hate that. Why is it that no one knows half the stuff I listen to? I'm tired of getting yelled at for going to concerts and buying guitars, too. I know it's not really normal to spend money on that stuff, but I'm not too into clothes and I don't feel like getting the emotional shit beaten out of me by a guy. I don't have many friends, either, anywhere in that school. I learned that the hard way this year, but I honestly wish there was a reason to all of this. I'm sorry that I sound so sad, I really wish I could be happy.
If anyone wants, I will write about my experience at The Darkness concert on Sunday. I found the tickets at the last minute and my Dad and I walked to the place in the rain. It's nicer than the old Lupo's because it looks like a movie theater, since it was one in the sixties. The band was really loud, it was sometimes hard to hear what they were singing and of course, everyone went nuts when they sang "I Believe in a Thing Called Love". My Dad liked it, too, which was good. They were kind of like an old rock band, with the Gibson Les Pauls and the stacks of Marshall amps.
I have to give Ginger a bath tonight and I'm not sure if I want to take a nap or not. If not, I might just play my video game, wash her and practice at the same time and then go to bed. I have to get up around nine to go to URI. I'll write about how that goes tomorrow.
*Racecar*
<< Wednesday, Apr. 07, 2004@7:14 p.m.>>