Wow, man! This is the first time I've come to the "add an entry" page, and not gotten some shit about it being peak hours so only gold members can update (I say it's shit because I tried to update at five a.m. once, how many fucking people are updating diaries at 5 a.m.?). I have to say, I just hate crowded places, it makes me feel like I'm insignificant. School, the place where I take my guitar lessons, every website I have a diary on, they're all crowded, and I'm always ignored, or at least ignored by some of the people I want around me.
I can't help but be a bit angry today. I was at the bus stop for about thirty minutes in the freezing cold this morning, because that fucking bitch did the route backwards because she's afriad her princess ass will slip on the hill. She didn't tell anyone at my bus stop! My cd player doesn't even work anymore, because it got so cold and my feet felt like ice for quite some time.
Yesterday, we got out early, and I had to walk home in the snow. I fell near my Dad's truck in the driveway twice, because I was wearing heels, since it was dress up day. I swore and swore, and then I went to my bedroom and cried. I don't know why I did, either, it just felt like one of those times where I needed to cry. School makes me really depressed. I have to take the fucing bus, with a driver who's an asshole, I have to be in a homeroom with the most annoying, snotty people, I have no hope of getting into Driver's Ed without messing around everything else in my life. It just seems like happiness is impossible right now.
I went with my Dad yesterday afternoon, looking for a new cd player, but all the ones we saw either had no antiskip, or were too expensive. I think I'll have to wait until Christmas or something, because I really want an electric guitar, even though my guitar lessons are starting to turn to shit.
I did have a very odd dream last night. I had two, actually, but I don't know if they were together or apart. I remember being in my Grandma's house, and it was flooding (my Grandma hasn't had a house since the 70's), but I wasn't scared or anything, I was just walking around, talking to people.
Then, in the second one, I was talking to this guy I like, and he was leaning against a wall, which I think might've been in the house. I said to him "You should just let love happen." or something corny like that, and I walked up to the wall and gave him a passionate kiss. I've never kissed a guy in real life, so I don't really know why I would imagine it in a dream, but it was a nice dream, I'll probably be thinking about that all day, but at least it will get me through the day.
I have a test in Italian, which I'm dreading, I have lunch with FiFi, which I'm also dreading, I have to run to the bus, and I have to walk half way home. I think the only time this day will be good is when it's over. I'm sorry I have such a negative attitude. There's a school dance tonight, and I might be going, but I'm not sure. That's it for now.
Your insane friend in the sky,
*Grape*Cloud*
<< Friday, Mar. 07, 2003@7:55 a.m.>>