I'm sorry that I haven't been around much lately. I've been busy at my grandmother's house, and when I am home, I'm usually fighting with my computer, since I got a new set of CD-R cds, and I have about five cds I promised my friends (and myself) I would burn, but my burner refuses to work, and the people at Gateway can barely remember what they sold me in the first place, other than that it's got a Pentium 3 Processor and runs on Windows ME (both of which are shitty, compared to an Apple).
I talked to Lithium Friday night, and we had made plans for Saturday, but like most of my friends, she hasn't followed through on them. I just hate it when people don't do something, and they say they're going to. If you aren't going to do something, why say you're going to do it?
I'm having a party Friday, and I have no idea what we're going to do. Everytime I ask someone to help me plan it, they don't so I can only imagine it will be a total disaster and no one will show up. Sadly, I've become quite prophetic lately, with Chip-Chop and Lithium prophecies coming true. How ghetto, huh?
I have class with Chip-Chop tomorrow, and it's his last day to talk to me, though I doubt he'll do it. I think he's just going to ignore me from now on, and I swear, he likes this girl in our class, she's all funny and dramatic and stuff. She's practically the President of Drama Club (though she's not, if they needed one, she would be elected). Basically, she's everything I'm not, which I hate, because it seems like every guy wants a girl who isn't me, including the one guy I want.
I don't even know if I like him anymore. It seems like he means to make everyone happy but me, and I don't want to be with a guy who's only mission is to make me feel bad about myself. There are too many guys who do that without even trying, why should I give him the chance? I doubt he wants it anyway.
Ugh. I feel like my life has fallen apart. My whole family was talking about me last night, and all they want is to change me, my friends don't want to hang around me, and the guy I like thinks I'm probably the ugliest, worst girl who's ever liked him. Sometimes, I want to turn the tables and be the one who hurts people, instead of the one who's always getting hurt by others. I listen to a ton of songs about that stuff, and I don't know why, but it just makes me want to go out and be a real bitch. I bet you didn't know I had an evil side, huh?
Your insane friend in the sky,
*Grape*Cloud*
<< Sunday, Oct. 06, 2002@6:53 p.m.>>