I'm really tired, I didn't sleep well last night. I put a heating patch on my back because it was bothering me so much yesterday. It feels a little better now, but I might put the other patch on tomorrow before I go to work. Those things are weird because you can't wear them for more than eight hours or else you'll get burned. I had to wake up at almost five am to get it off, and my whole back was sweaty, though I fell back to sleep and work up at nine thirty when my Dad told me he wasn't going to work. I had called the doctor's office to cancel my appointment today and I wanted to reschedule another one for later in the day so that I wouldn't miss it. I left my number on their fucking answering machine and they never called me back. I didn't even know they had canceled the appointment. I wish I could go to another doctor, I haven't liked that place in years, I want to go somewhere else but there is no other doctor nearby who takes my health plan. I don't want to be on antidepressants because they don't help me, I have a very sensitive body and no one seems to realize that but me. The therapist yesterday said she understands, but I think she is full of shit because she said she still thinks I need to be on meds. I don't think she is listening to me at all, she doesn't seem to open to anything besides meds. Is it just me, or is the whole system of healthcare corrupt as hell these days?
I'm just a little irritated right now, I always am. I just want things to change and I hate how all the good things change quickly and all the bad things take forever to change. I wish I could type lying down, maybe I should get a program that types what I say, though I don't know how well those work. I think the nails on my left hand are growing faster than the ones on my right hand and that's scaring me.
The snow today wasn't too bad, that was why my Dad took the day off from work though. I'm glad he got the snow blower becuase there was no way in hell I was going to go and shovel snow with my back aching like this. I'm really tired and I have to get up early tomorrow. I've been watching Cartoon Network a ton lately, I feel like a little kid watching it, too. I really like Camp Lazlo and Foster's Home For Imaginary Friends, I even DVRed some episodes of Foster's, I don't know why, but I think Frankie is such a cool character, I kind of wish I could be like that, I've always wanted red hair. I dyed my hair red once, but it didn't look too good and everyone seemed to think I was Irish, even though I'm not. I wish I could find the look I want, I really want to get my hair cut short when I get it cut next week but I know that even the hairdresser will probably be against it. I just feel like it's time for a big change.
I'm going to go to bed now. Good night. I'm sorry if the guestbook isn't working, I'm starting to think it's total garbage because I don't get e-mails when someone leaves me a message, so it's better to leave a note. I did check my guestbook the other day though and I'll probably check it again soon. I'm going to find something else for comments and stuff and I'll let you know when I do. Good night.
*Racecar*
<< Tuesday, Jan. 03, 2006@10:19 p.m.>>