Yesterday I didn't do much except go to work. It was snowing out, which I am so sick of by now. I really want it to go away because I just am sick of having to deal with the snow and frost all over my car. I'm also sick of having to wear layers and just being cold all the time. I want spring and summer to come so I can go out and have fun, I know it's coming, but it feels like it is miles away.
Anyway, I worked with some girl in the jewelry department whom I had never seen before. She came up to me near the end of the night and asked me if I knew Hydrogen's brother, Nad and I said I did, but I didn't say I was friends with him or anything because I wasn't. Well, she was with the unloaders in the back when I put the garbage away and she told the guys back there who I was. Then, while I was walking away (I had gone back there to throw out the garbage) she said that she had wanted to be my friend (based on my looks), but that when she realized I was a friend of Nad's, she changed her mind. I don't consider myself a friend of his, nor have I ever and I don't consider myself a friend of Hydrogen's, either. I honestly think I have changed since I first met her and her brother and I think that is why I didn't want to be her friend anymore and why I don't talk to her. I also don't know why she would think that because I knew Nad, I am anything like him. I really don't like to sit in front of a computer all day and play dumb games and I don't really play video games, either. I certainly would never play them on an XBox and I love my Apple, while he has some cheap computer that runs on Windows XP. I also don't make retarded techno songs and have cds with solely sound affects on them. I don't think that I'm like him at all, and I don't think having known him makes me a bad person. I also don't see why I would make a good or bad friend because of my looks and I don't think she should have said all this as I was walking by, becuase I am not deaf, though people tend to think I am because they don't respond when they talk to me, I always think that people are talking to someone else. I think it would be cool to make a new friend, though and I did kind of take it as a compliment, in that maybe I look nice or something. I also don't know why she introduced me to the guys in unloading, since I can do that myself and I think my badge kind of tells them who I am.
I really think I'll keep this entry short so I can go to bed, but since I'm not working this week, though I'm working a ton next week and the week after, I'm going to go to bed soon. I'm watching "The Truman Show" does anyone know if that is a good movie or not? It seems kind of weird, it kind of makes me mad how they screw with his life so much. I hate it when stuff happens in movies and tv shows that you don't want to happen so you get mad. I've been getting like that all the time lately. I think it's just because I've been watching tons of tv and movies and some of it is not familiar to me.
I had a dream about the guy I like last night and it was weird. I was thinking about how much I miss him, because I do, which is weird because it's not like I even talk to him or anything. I have thought about talking to him, though I am not sure if I should or not. I have no chance of getting anywhere with him, but there is something about him that entrances me and makes me want to be around him. I want to talk to him and learn all about him. I want to hang out with him and make him think I'm cool, but I kind of want him to feel the same way about me and some vain part of me thinks he could, but my reason tells me there is no way in hell he would feel the same, because there are boundaries that separate us and they are too great to overcome.
Still, I miss him and I dreamt that he was talking and I overheard him, which is weird because I can never get his voice down just right in my head. I dreamt that was he was talking about his favorite book, because he likes to read, which is one of the many things I really like about him. He is just so smart and interesting and he doesn't talk like a really smart guy, using words that would be above everyone else's head. Do you know what I mean? I really wish that I could remember my dream just right but I can't and I didn't even remember it until I was think about books today. I'm going to go to bed now, but I really wish that I could stop thinking about him so much, it's like he's taking over my mind, or he already has. It's like a disease and I wish I could be cured. Good night!
*Racecar*
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