I'm a little out of it right now, to be honest. I went out with Hydrogen and Nad and got some books at Borders. Let me just say that, even now, when they are basically at the retail equivalent of Death's door, they are still stocking a good amount of manga, especially in comparison to Barnes and Noble. I bought some volumes of Fruits Basket, as that is the last Tokyopop series I want to finish before it gets to be too expensive. I feel stupid because someone will re-license it in no time, but I do think they did a good job with the majority of their manga. Not to mention I had already had the first four volumes that I'd bought years ago.
Also, sorry if this entry makes little sense. I'm still a bit tipsy from drinking and I don't really want to go to bed until my mind has settled a bit. Even though I am really tired and not sure what to write about, either.
I'm kind of in an odd place. My commitment to music has been really lagging lately, which worries me. I haven't written a lot of music lately and playing it can be a real chore, too. I think I'm not singing correctly because it bothers my throat sometimes to do so. It could also be because I was practicing every night. I'm not sure, so I'm trying to let my voice rest as much as possible. I do have one more video to record for my open mic night series.
I also found out that there is a Borders in Providence that has open mic nights, which I think would be super fun to try and do. I do have Thursday nights off usually, and since the TV season is ending, there's no reason for me to be home on those nights. I could also have my friends and people from my social anxiety group come along because it's not too far from where the group meets and it's in a familiar place. I kind of want a lot of support, even though it might negatively effect my performance.
Ugh. I hate how my head feels right now, as it's still kind of foggy. I can type and read and write and such, but I know my mind still isn't fully clear. It could also be because I am so tired. I have a hard time sleeping on Thursday nights.
I do want to try and write in here more, but I'm worried it will end up sounding super depressing. Going out drinking helped a bit, as I was a tad depressed about some things going on. The whole dating website situation isn't working out the way I thought, where I end up talking to guys and not the other way around. Not to mention I'm not sure how to ask a guy out and when to do so. So I end up having long conversations with them that go nowhere, or they just don't reply. I do have more of an idea of what people on those sites are looking for after having done some research and self reflection. Still, I am little too lazy to apply this stuff to my attempts, as they never seem to work out how I want them to.
I'm beginning to think I need to meet someone in real life. I want to try and join more meetup groups, get my creative writing group going. I want to even try and start a musicians' support group where we help each other with out writing and playing. I have no idea how many people would go for it though. I'm also working on teaching guitar lessons, but with the price of gas going so high, it's looking like it would be better to try and find a studio to do it from. I'm just not sure anyone will take me.
I need to talk to my old guitar teacher, but I feel kind of bad for turning my back on him years ago. It had nothing to do with his teaching ability, but I was already seeing another teacher and using lots of gas to go to school. Not to mention I didn't have enough time to listen to two teachers telling me what to do and still manage to do everything that they told me, whether it conflicted or not.
Anyway, this entry is probably ALL over the place. But I did feel bad about not updating, and for a while, I did forget about this place. I'll try not to do that, but it's obvious that I can't keep those kinds of promises. Good night!-*Duck*
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