Well, right now I am writing this from my Apple, which I'm in the process of figuring out. This keyboard is so flat and uncomfortable compared to what I'm used to. My Dad got the network to work, but the Gateway is no longer connected to the internet, which I guess allows me to get to know my laptop better. It feels really weird, though and now I have to find all my bookmarks all over again and bookmark them here. It also takes me longer to type in stuff, so these entries are going to take even longer to type.
Anyway, I heard about this idea before and I really like it. You write anonymous letters to people that you know or even don't know in real life. I'm going to try and make mine as vague as possible and keep it short as well, as I'm sure it's probably boring as Hell for anyone to read this, though I'm sure it's boring to hear about computers as well. If you want to know if a letter is about you, I'm probably not going to tell you, so don't bother asking, unless you think it's a mean one and I know it's not. I'm going to number mine, just like some other people have, yes I love to copy others.
1.You are so sweet and I know you don't understand a word I say, which is probably why you mean more to me than some people who do or at least should. You're almost always by my side, something that I'm not sure any other living thing could achieve. I really appreciate you and I love you. (I'll bet that one is obvious!)
2. I honestly thought that you were the best friend I have ever had, we had sooo much in common I thought it was impossible for us to ever hate each other, or at least stop talking to each other. Yet, here we are and I regret every single thing that I may have ever said that made you mad at me. Yet, I'm mad at you for turning your back on me by not even telling me what I did wrong, so I could at least apologize and make up for it. I know you probably don't like me much now, and sometimes you hurt me, too. I wish we could just call it even and be friends again, but I know that it could never happen, because I don't feel comfortable talking to you anymore. I keep thinking I'll offend you some more and give you more ammo to use against me. Whatever I did, I'm sorry for it and I doubt it was intentional. I wish we could go back or patch things up , but that's impossible now.
3. I know we never had much in common, I guess most people around here are like you. You fit in here much better than me. I envy your social skills a great deal. I think our friendship was just too hard to maintain with all the differences between us. I'm suprised we even could agree on anything. I feel bad that we don't really talk anymore, and maybe it's because I've distanced myself from you. I feel bad that we let our differences get so far between us, but I did have some fun times with you, I just wish that we could do that again.
4.You are I are more different than any two people could imagine, and I think that's why we never talked. I'm sorry that I don't share you intrests and that I'm ignorant of your feelings. I feel like I owe you a million apologies, but know that you'll never make any of the mistakes that I've made, you're not antisocial like I am. I'm sorry that I seem like such a bitch to you, I'm really not, I just don't understand the way you think, just like you don't understand the way I think. I think that's why we were never friends. I hope all goes well for you, though, I honestly think you are probably a very good person.
5. I'm suprised we got along for a while. You seemed like an honestly nice person, but I could never get over the feeling that you were always about to stab me in the back at any moment. I'm pretty sure that you eventually felt the same way. I had fun times with you, but I always felt that you were trying to constantly be in control of every situation, even though you can't be. I honestly came to resent that, because after a while, it becomes very opressive. I'm glad we don't talk anymore, but you can take comfort in knowing that I haven't ever tried to erase the fun times we had from my memory.
6. You were always very different, more different than I am. I admire you greatly to this day, even though we haven't talked in a long time. You're a very smart person and you are bound to go places. I love the fact that even though so many people say things about you behind your back, you still do what you've always done. Keep being yourself, because that's what made and probably still makes you, so cool and intresting. I had fun times with you as well, though, just like you, they were always different from the ones I had with everyone else. I'm sorry that we don't talk anymore, but you kind of make me feel below you, since I only wish I could be as smart and non self conscious as you are.
7. You're another person I just fell out of touch with and I'm sorry that it happened. I think that you're a smart person as well and I could really relate to how you felt like an outsider. Yet, and we both know this, you are smarter than I could ever hope to be and you know what you want out of life and where it will take you. I'm glad that you have found a stable place for yourself and I wish you the best of luck. You have had more life experience than I've had, even though you're still younger than me. I wish I could tell you all that has gone on since, but I don't feel comfortable talking to you anymore.
8. You are a great friend and even though there is a great deal of distance between us, I can understand most of the things that you write about and I can relate to them, too. You can overcome your problems and you've grown up so much since I first started talking to you. I admire your ability to over come your problems and still enjoy things like Neopets, even if they may seem childish. I'm you've read all this stuff from me before though, so I'll just end it here.
9. You probably don't know this, but before we stopped talking, I thought you were my best friend. I honestly wish that you had been more honest with me, though and that you could just tell me what's going on before it's too late. I'm sure that someday you will learn to tell people the truth before it is too late or very close to it. You're not a bad person, but we didn't have much in common to begin with, though I'm glad that you are such an open minded person. I think it's safe to say that we have pretty much lost touch, but I don't think it's a loss to you or anyone else, because you all have already found people you can relate to better.
10. I wish you wouldn't let the things that people say about you get to you. You are such a great person, a real poet. I admire you and wish that I could write and talk half as elegantly as you do. I think you should just do what you love and not listen to what the idiots have to say. If they can't deal with the way that you have changed, then that is their problem. Please don't give up on your dreams and on what you love, because it touches the lives of so many others. Believe me, I know, because I wouldn't be who I am right now if it were not for you.
11. Last, but in no way least. You are a great influence to me, but there is really no advice that I could give you that you haven't already learned yourself. You are such a smart person and I honestly wish that everyone could see that as well as some people do. I feel like you know what I've been through, even if you really don't. I look to you as an inspiration, I want to grow up and be like you someday, because you know what it feels like to be depressed and you made it through fine. Thank you so much for doing what comes best to you.
I think this entry is going to be a two parter, I'll write the rest of it tomorrow. I'm sorry that yours is so short Meg, I really do appreciate you, it's just you've heard that a million times.
*Racecar*
<< Saturday, Jul. 10, 2004@6:21 p.m.>>