I doubt anyone will notice, but this sums up so well how I've been feeling lately:
I don't know. I've just been so irritated with people lately.
I asked this girl TWO weeks ago to perform in Music Convocation with me, and she said yes.
Now, almost two weeks before the performance, she's blowing me off.
I don't know what to do, because I don't have that much time to practice it with someone else.
I'm thinking of doing it myself and making an ass of myself.
I don't even care anymore, this is the third time that someone else in the music department has blown me off at the last minute.
It fucked up my grade for Composition last semester, too, and it's just fucking rude.
I'm so tired of that school, and those fucking snobby kids who think I'm an idiot, not to mention the teachers that think I'm an idiot.
The people at work think I'm a robot.
My bed is slowly sinking into the ground and I can't sleep at night.
It's like I'm not a damn human anymore.
My friends are all in the process of discarding me like an unwanted old Barbie doll.
I feel so isolated and alone and useless.
It sucks, too, because I try so hard to hold it together, to not come apart at the seams.
I've been doing so good, too, and I thought my life would start to turn around because of it, but it hasn't.
Oh, I hope not.-This was in response to the person saying:"And these are the best years of our lives."
Though I'm not honestly sure that it could get much worse than this.
Unless I pull a Marge Simpson and go bald from all the stress.
Though considering my job, it would be an advantage.
It's from am AIM conversation I had. I just needed to vent. I wanted to put it here because I know I'll read this again someday and realize it's how I feel, or felt or whatever.
I only really write in here so that I can read it again later and see how I was doing, though I also hope that others will read it, and maybe give me encouragement or advice or whatever. Though I feel like I am so disappointed with people lately that I just can't be happy with what anyone says because it's never right. I need to go to bed now. Good night.-*Racecar* or *Rukia*
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