I didn't write last night because I was really tired and just wanted to go to bed. I had a really tough day yesterday, although today wasn't too good either. I had to work on the fucking boot wall on the ladder and it freaked me out at work. I had to do three tests at school, I pretty much bombed my Jazz Harmony test because I have a very hard time learning the piano chords in a week. I'm trying to practice with a towel over my keyboard so I can feel my way around the piano instead of looking down all the time because I know that's a bad habit and if I can feel my way around the piano, eventually I'll be able to play faster because I won't have to look down and think about where I am.
I had two other tests, and I think I did good on my Voice test, but I'm not sure about my Math test, I'm worried I won't do well in that class because everything I do understand in regular class seems to go down the drain when I have to take a test. I don't understand where I am going to need to think about fucking sets. I wish there was something interesting in the damn class to learn, like algebra or something I at least could give a shit about. I don't know what to do if I really do bad on my Math tests and just really bad in the class in general. I hate college, I think I could write a damn book about that.
I can't believe that it's only been three weeks of school and I'm already missing summer. I feel kind of shitty today, since I just feel lonely and stuff. I'm going to call this therapist my Dad's friend told him about tomorrow. Hopefully she can help me, because I feel kind of bad about myself right now. I'm just lonely and wish that I had someone to hang out with. I kind of don't want to go to the movies with Carbon and her niece, just because I feel the need to really edit what I say around her niece and she can be a pain in the ass sometimes. I also don't want to go with Carbon because I know she will want to drive and I don't know if I can listen to the Killers without throwing myself out the window of her car. That, and her car is more of a lemon than any lemon you could find at the market. I'm sorry, but she's had problems with it from the minute she got it and I honestly don't think that any of them have been fixed, either. I have to have my car put on a lift tomorrow so that the body shop can finally give me an estimate of how much it will cost and if they can actually do it. Is it normal for them to be able to know whose car it is when you pull up in it? I kind of feel embarassed about it, becuase they didn't see the back of my car, just the front. I don't see a ton of dark green Jettas around here, and I guess my stupid plate gives it away, too. Man, I really want to get new plates but I am lazy and I think I need my Dad with me since the car is in his name because I am too lazy to get it registered under my name. I also couldn't pay the taxes on it anyway.
Today is Blake's third birthday, but he was kind of a jerk today. I feel bad that I didn't take him to Petco or something, but maybe I'll do that tomorrow. He really hates going out because he thinks we are getting rid of him. I'm just tired of stepping in pee around the house or having to clean up the messes that he loves to make. I fucking wish something good would happen, just one damn thing that would make life a little easier for me. I would really like a friend to talk to, just about anything and everything, someone who I can relate to and who doesn't make me feel like shit because they flake out on me so much. I mean, I'm tired of having to do all the work in a friendship. I almost always have to call Carbon, though she does visit me at work, which is more than most people do besides my Dad. I don't know why I am so bad with people, but I really wish that I wasn't.
By the way, does anyone know how long headphones should last? I think I may have killed the ones I have, even though I use them everyday and have been for about a year, maybe a few months more. It's twenty dollars for new ones, but I'm thinking maybe I should use different headphones altogether. If anyone knows of any good brands, let me know. I've tried Sony ones and they're okay, but they only seem to last six months. I like the earbuds the best, but I want ones that last long, like a few years or so. I don't know if there are any like that. I was using my iPod headphones with my cd player because I kind of gave up on my iPod, at least for now. The heaphones are okay now, but yesterday they were buzzing an awful lot, I don't know why they're not now, but I doubt that they are just better all of the sudden. I'm going to go to bed now and I'll write more tomorrow. Good night.
*Racecar*
<< Tuesday, Sept. 27, 2005@9:50 p.m.>>