Dear Tristan,
I'm so tired lately, I don't know what is going on with me. I wanted to write to you before I went to bed. Why do you look at my profile everyday? I just wanted to know. I also wondered why you haven't said anything to me in a while. I wish we could just talk like two friends, but you don't seem to want to. I'm honestly confused and I want an explanation, but I am too afraid to actually ask you. I don't want to make you mad, but part of me wants to ask you anyway. I really like you, you know that though.
I read about your perfect girl. I think she really does exist, though why you want a girl who spends a lot of time in the bathroom is beyond me. I wish I was like that girl, I wish I was her. I feel like I have a few of those qualities, but physically I am not what you want, and it makes me sad because there is nothing that I can do to make you change your mind about it. I can't fix myself, either, though I would do most anything to be with you, if I even could, which is stupid of me to think, anyway.
Still, this whole looking at my profile everyday thing makes me think otherwise. You can't hate me or anything like that. Then again, I worry you see me as a little sister type, someone that you watch out for, or want to at least. I wonder what my friends would think of all of this. If you are attracted to me though, I think I would be the happiest girl on Earth.
I like the way you said you wanted a girl doesn't know where she is going, because that is me personified. I would love to have you around, when I'm nervous to hold me and make me feel steady. You are the perfect guy for me, I would want a guy who is just like you, even though you have depression and can be awfully closed minded at times. I think you will be a great man, though you already are one, you'll get even better over time. You'd be a great father, too and you'd love any kids that you would have, I can tell by how much you love your niece and nephews.
I just wanted to let you know that you make me feel okay. I feel so weird when I am on my own, but I think of you and feel happy and steady. I think of the future and the type of guy I could be with if I am a good person. I have never felt this way about any other guy before. I wish you could see that I really do care for you, no matter how messed up my feelings may actually be.-Kate
I kind of want to know what you think of this Megan, if you have any idea what it means. I know it's him because it's an ISP from France and it's always the same one. Usually his friends only look at my page once in a while, not everyday. Also, the times coincide with when he is online. I'm not sure what to make of it, I think he likes me, but I'm not sure why or why he won't say anything to me. If he likes me, why can't he just admit it? Let me know what you think, if you have time.
<< Sunday, Apr. 08, 2007@10:46 p.m.>>