I know I haven't written in a while. I was feeling sick on Sunday and on Monday I worked so I didn't do anything interesting. Today I had off but I was pretty bummed out about being alone and stuff. Just the usual things that bother me. The whole Wal Mart/Target thing bugs me, too because I feel like both places don't really want me as an employee and I feel like they'll both screw me over. I just feel like I deserve better because I've worked so hard all these years and I've been a good worker at Wal Mart. I would like to get what I deserve once in a while, but that rarely seems to happen to me.
I even told my Dad that I feel like my car and I are the same. I think it's kind of true in a way. We're both full of problems that can't be fixed (if I got my period it would probably be a miracle, or because of some pills). I'm always hearing shit about my car in magazines like Consumer Reports and most every car magazine, I don't even think the Jetta has won many awards at all. I hear people bitch about me and most people at school don't like me at all. I never even saw anyone at high school drive a VW, I'm not even kidding, there was one kid with a Beetle, but no one with a Jetta. Yet there were a ton of Pontiacs, Fords, Jeeps, Toyotas and Hondas. I just feel like a real outcast in this world and I wish I was never born sometimes.
I went for a six mile walk with Blake today on the bike path. I had no one to go with, but I figure Blake would protect me if someone tried to attack me. When I cried at home, he cried, too, so I know he can tell what I'm feeling, he's been like that since day one. I'm going to try and walk with him every time that I have a day off from work, though I might take him on Friday.
I also bought some shoes for back to school today, though I really don't want to go back and I am dreading it. I found out my cousin just got breast implants which I think is stupid. I'd rahter get laser eye surgery because it's cheaper and I know I can't wear glasses like this the rest of my life. I just can't believe that she would really do it, and that my uncle wouldn't be mad, since she still lives with him at the age of 25, rent free I might add.
I bought Spirited Away on DVD today because I saw it on Cartoon Network yesterday. I love it and it's definately one of my favorite movies of all time, I'm probably going to watch the other movies directed by Miyazaki (he wrote it too). I like it because it's so interesting and the animation is so pretty. I'm suprised it was made in this decade with the death of hand drawn animation and all. I realy miss that stuff, the CGI films feel fake sometimes, especially if they have bad plots like most of the ones out these days. I'm going to go to bed now. I'll write again when I can.
*Racecar*
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