Sorry I haven't written in here in a while. I think I'm going to try and add some people to my buddy list, some diaries on here that I've found that are pretty cool. I wish I could unlock the diary, but the fear of some people finding it is just too high right now. Most people who know me know about it, anyway. Felisha knows this diary exists, and probably can't get in because it's locked, but she hasn't asked about it, so I never gave her a password and username, though I would if she asked. Lee has a username and password, which I think I'll keep the same for everyone, since it's the one that I know works. The people on my buddy list who are still on here and reading this, well, they obviously know how to get in as well. I might start another diary that is unlocked no matter what, and keep this one private. I just thought of that idea. Still, I wouldn't want to abandon this one, since I've nearly done that quite a few times now, ever since MySpace came along. This is one of the few things I've kept up since before my Mom's death, and I really want to keep it for that reason.
Over the summer, I'm going to clean this dairy up a bit, and maybe try to make my own layout. I read about a free Photoshop style program for Mac. I might get it and learn to use it, then I would find a layout, like the one I have, and just play with the code (or codes) to see how it works. Once I know what code I like, I can add in the photos and brushes (I LOVE brushes) and put it together with the code. I might give credit to a designer or something (if they're still around, which most aren't) if I feel I've used the majority of their code. Still, I want this summer to be the summer when I FINALLY make my own layout. If I was good enough at it, I would make them for my friends, if anyone wanted one. Still, don't ask me for anything until I've actually made one for myself, I need to know if I can do it first.
Anyway, today's entry calls for more poetry. I went to see Death Cab for Cutie tonight. They were good, but I honestly cried when they played "I Will Follow You Into the Dark". Maybe it's a good thing I don't have someone, I guess I would feel really bound to them in someway. I wouldn't have as much freedom as I do now. Still, it kind of hurts to be one of the few people I know who is still alone, and who has been alone for their whole life. I really though by now that I would've liked a guy who liked me, too. I don't get why it hasn't worked out for me.
I've been working on a story, which I sent to Megan to read. It's not finished, and what I sent to Megan isn't in very good shape (if it's in a shape at all). Still, I want to put it in here someday, in several parts because it's already 17 pages long and counting. It has a plot, but I think I'm too caught up in some other things. I'm trying to incorporate some elements of my own life right now into it. Obviously, there really is no plotline to my life, so it's making it hard. I'm not sure where it's going or anything like that.
Anyways, I found this beautiful picture on Wikipedia and I wanted to write a poem about it. It's actually considered one of the best pictures on the whole site, at least that's what it's information says (in tags, not added by the photographer or anything). It really is pretty, too. Here it is.
The gateway to your world
Is closed to me
Such beautiful sights
I can't ever see.
What's it like in your world?
The gate open wide
A bright portal of blue
Surrounded by golden rays of light.
To be part of that beauty
To live in it everyday
How could you ever be sad?
I'll never know your world
The enchanting gate,
The bright lights
The many towers.
I know you're there
The sun high in the sky
Book in your hands
The world off your mind.
You sit at that gate
Pray I'll never be there
You'll never know
How you locked me out.-Racecar
<< Saturday, May. 10, 2008@3:54 a.m.>>
