Ugh. I was supposed to go to a party with Nad, but he hasn't gotten here yet. He's still on his way, but he's not going to be here for another half hour since he's in Providence. I figure he'll call me again when he's near here. It kind of sucks to be alone for so long, and I'm worried about going out because I don't know how many people are going to be at the party, or even where it is. I did tell a few people I'm going out and they have my number, so I'm not worried about that. I'm just worried I'll be too nervous to talk to anyone, or that I won't have anything in common with the people there. Still, it could be fun, and it'll be the first time in forever that I've gone out on New Year's Eve. Seriously, the last time I went out was to my friend Carbon's house (well, she's not my friend anymore...) back in 2006. She lives about five minutes from my house, and I left not long after the clock struck midnight, so I wouldn't really consider it going out. Last year I was supposed to go over to R's, but I got out of work at nine thirty (I have no idea why they were open so late then, they closed at six or seven this year, but I didn't work today, so I wouldn't know), but it was snowing really bad, and so I didn't go out. I just talked to her on the phone all night.
I was supposed to go over her house tonight, but I canceled because it would be what we always do: watch anime in her cold house, and I'd have to buy food from wherever was nearby and open. I don't even really find that fun anymore, which I guess could be a bad thing. Not to mention I wanted to go out and meet new people, or at least part of me does, the other part is too afraid. Not to mention the debacle of last Tuesday's sleepover, which you can read a bit about in the last entry.
We ended up watching Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby after that. But R hates that movie, so we stopped watching it after one thirty. Then R started talking about Dancer and her husband (one of her favorite topics) and then about Twilight and then finally, religion, which even Mrs. Black didn't want to talk about. I kind of sat around for a while not trying to get irritated. I went into the living room, and then around two, I went into the room where they were and said that I would be going home since three was a crowd with us. Finally, R. said, "You guys watch the movie." we ended up finishing it around three, but the whole time, R was bitching and complaining that she didn't like the movie, that she was happy to be cleaning her house, and just irritating us. I felt bad for saying what I said. Finally, the movie was over, so we went to bed.
We slept on an inflatable mattress in the computer room. Apparently, R shut off the heat, so it got very cold by the time we did get up. She also had the TV on in her bedroom and I could hear it, so it was bothering me. Mrs. Black's snoring made it hard for me to sleep, too. I ended up getting all of one hour of sleep, before I got up at five thirty to try and go on the internet. R had unhooked my computer without even asking me, which ticked me off. Mrs. Black was awake and told me she was cold, too. So, she faked sick and we managed to leave R's without any more debate.
It was very cold out, and R had left one of my car doors open by getting the seatbelt jammed in it, which really ticked me off, because I couldn't open and close it, since the door was frozen. I drove Mrs. Black home, and then the door was warm, so she closed it for me. It was kind of fun to drive so early, I got to see the sun rise in Warren, where there are lots of cute shops and long stretches of water along the highway. That was probably the best part of my day. Then I went to sleep around eight and woke up around one in the afternoon since I had to go to work. Needless to say, I don't want to sleep over R's again, since that's happened to me before, where she shut the heat off, had the TV and I couldn't sleep.
Anyway, I wanted to kind of go over the past year, since this will hopefully be the last entry I write this year. I'm glad I've been writing more this year than other years. I think I wrote almost nothing in 2007, since I was obsessed with MySpace. I can't remember what I wrote last year, but I don't think it was much. I think writing about Disney for seven days was probably what got me a few new diary readers, which is good, because I think Megan and Jeff were the only two who read my diary for the longest time. I'm not sure if they still read it though, but it's okay.
This year was a very odd one. I wouldn't really say it was horrible, at least not for me. I mean, I didn't really lose anything huge like I have in past years, but I haven't really gained anything, either. If I have gained things, it's stuff that hasn't developed yet, or things that won't seem like anything until next year.
This year has felt like a stagnant year for me. I don't feel as though I've made any new friends, though I don't think I've lost any (with the exception of Doug, I think). I mean, I am supposed to hang out with Nad tonight, and then there's Mrs. Black of course, but those are people I knew in high school, so I don't consider them to be new friends, just old friends discovered again.
I'm still at BJ's, which I guess is a good thing. I don't think I will be there this time next year though. My hands are honestly a mess from the gloves, and everything I try doesn't really help that much. Not to mention the reviews I've gotten there haven't been very good, so it's not like I'm some kind of model employee. I honestly don't think I'm bad, but I know I have a hard time getting out of my shell. I'm probably not really fit for that job, though I don't think they're going to fire me or anything, I doubt they think very highly of me. I'm only staying there because I feel guilty for still being in school after almost six years, and I know it's taken a financial toll on my Dad. I'm trying to not spend a lot of money (even though I manage to find new things to spend it on everyday), so that I can move out of this state and find a cheap place somewhere nice. So, I imagine I will be there for most of next year, though I do intend to start looking for another job in March or April.
But, I have my senior recital in March, March 3rd, actually. So most of January will be getting players together and getting music out. Then I will have to work on trying to get everything set up. I think my jury will be in February (I don't get why it can't be the same night as my actual recital, but nothing at URI makes sense these days). To be honest, I am very nervous about it, even though I think it will go off okay. Starting tomorrow, I have to try and get work done on it, which means e-mailing some students and the teacher to try and get everyone together. I probably won't be able to enjoy the year at all until that is over, so it means the first two months of the year will be horror for me.
I don't even know where I will move to. I wasn't too optimistic about moving in the first place, but Mrs. Black changed that for me. Unfortunately, I'll have to end here, but I'll write more next year. Bye!-Kate
<< Thursday, Dec. 31, 2009@8:11 p.m.>>