I hate the way I am always so tired lately. I went to see None More Black last night and it was really fun. It was honestly my first punk show and I wouldn't be suprised if it was my last, too. I really love punk music and the bands were awesome. Yet, some kids are so snobby and I just felt like I didn't fit in, I'm sure my Dad didn't felt that way, too. Still, they are a great band and they're great live, too. I really hope they come around here again soon, though they hinted that they would. The only thing I can really say that is great about living in Rhode Island is the anti smoking bill that's been around for a while now. Basically, you can go to any show you want or any resturant you want in the state and not have to worry about your lungs being assaulted. I haven't been to many shows since the law was made, but last night was nice because no one smoked. I remember going to Lupo's and not being able to see the bands too well because of all the smoke.
It was funny how for the first three bands there was a one person moshpit, this one kid who heckled the bands and ran across the floor jumping like an idiot. When None More Black came on, an actual moshpit started which was kind of weird to see, since I've never seen one before. Everybody seemed to rush to the front and there were some kids waving their arms in the air, which made them look kind of crazy, at least to me. I really wish that I could say I felt welcome there, but I kind of didn't, I felt like an outsider looking in. That's the thing I hate about the internet, because I knew and liked most of the bands the kids in the audience liked, but I still felt like I didn't fit in with them because I really hadn't heard about these bands through that culture.
I wish I could find my own area to fit into, I've been trying to do that since I was in elementary school, trying to be one of the popular girls. It never works out for me, though, I don't fit in with them for sure, because I seem to hate most of the stuff they like. I can never seem to dress their part, either, the whole preppy look always looks like they spend at least an hour getting ready, where as I look like I spent ten minutes getting ready, sometimes less. I don't fit in with the punk kids because I don't look the part and I probably don't act it either, because some of the stuff I like is popular. I remember the guy in the first band mentioned he watched Jaws the other day, while I was watching the America's Next Top Model marathon on VH1. I don't fit in with the jazz kids, either because I don't spend all my time obsessing over jazz and I feel guilty for being in their presence because of it. Even the guy in my class who I think is cute (I'm going to call him Koa, because he is always talking about how great his custom made guitar is because it's made of koa) won't even talk to me because I'm not a hardcore jazz fan like he is, I'm not anywhere near his music level, either. I do want to play jazz, but I want to play other stuff, too and I feel like that totally ruins my credibility with those guys. That, and the Jimmy Eat World patch on my backpack. I can't even tell what I am or where I fit in, or who I fit in with, and that bothers me, becuase it's hard to find friends when you don't fit in everywhere, it seems like so many people fit into places like puzzle pieces and I feel like I don't.
I'm going to go to bed now, I have to get up early to practice. I decided to name Maggie, well, the male cat once named Maggie. His name is Fry, I named him after Fry from Futurama, because he has red hair and is probably just as lazy, if not even more so. I just think it fits him and it's nice because I don't think there are that many cats named Fry. I always hated the way there's a million Gingers out there, I'm not sure how many Blakes there are. It's also better because Blake responds to anything that begins with a "B". I tried calling him Bort today and he actually came, he answers to anything, the doofus. Good night.
*Racecar*
<< Tuesday, Feb. 07, 2006@11:01 p.m.>>