FiFi left a note in my diary, and I don't know why. I don't want her reading it anymore. She just walks in and out of life, and when you try to tell her the truth, she doesn't listen. I didn't really mention her in my last entry anyway. I wish I could get her to think I deleted my diary.
She thinks that it doesn't bother me, but it does. To have a supposed best friend walk out on you unexpectedly is just a hard thing to deal with. I have mental problems and I know that I need to get help, which I am. But, you know what? I don't really care anymore, I just want to get rid of all that FiFi talk.
I'm talking to Hydrogen online for the first time in about eight million years. She blocked me before, and it looked like she went offline when she hadn't. I'm pretty sure the poodle did the same thing with me, but I blocked her too, and then I took her names off my buddy list. It also shows someone as offline if you block them, which I didn't know.
Anyway, Dancer doesn't want to go to the beach today, so we're not going after all. We'll probably go next week, so Hydrogen is coming over. I don't know what we're going to do, I think we'll probably go shopping for sandals, because I really need some, and I want to get out of my house, becuase I haven't in a while. I talked to Dancer, and she said that she might be able to go to the concert on July 25th with me. I don't care if she pays my Dad back right away, I just really need someone to go, because my Dad will get mad at me if no one does. Though Carbon also said that she might be able to go. I'm not sure if either of them will enjoy it. I actually think that Carbon would like it more, since her musical tastes are closer to mine.
I'm sorry that this entry has been all over the place. Nothing for this summer has been very solid, and it kind of scares me. It's like that song I posted in squareone ages ago, nothing is certain in life. I even titled the entry after the song, because I think that it fits the way that things have been going lately. I kind of wish that things had turned out differently, but maybe things are this way for a reason. I just don't like all the loneliness that it has been entailing. I don't like the feelings I've been feeling these past few days, and it's hard to find anyone to talk to about it, except my Dad. I'm probably going to beg him to take me somewhere today, just so I could get a change from this boring life.
I think maybe it's because it's the week of the fourth that it's been so bad. Yet, it seems like last year at this time things weren't like that. A ton of things have changed lately, though, and even in the past few months. I think maybe this is just going to be one of the toughest times of my life. I know I can make it out okay though. I just need to get out of Welfare High, or at least driving, and then everything will be fine.
Well, I'm going to go around online and wait for Hydrogen to tell me when she's coming over. Her parents are out right now, so it might be a while. I'm going to talk to my Dad, too, just in case she doesn't come over, I'll have something else to do. It bums me out that I'm not going to the beach, I'm tired of long days at home. We'll probably end up going to the beach near my house and acting like total retards, that's the way we sometimes do stuff (I mean Hydrogen and I).
I'm going to go now, I also told Carbon I would call her back, I'm glad I remembered. Carbon and I are going to get a picture together, as part of the senior portrait package, because you get three poses. I'm going to hang mine on my wall. My Dad's going to call the portrait people in a minute, and I'm going to wait unti I'm done eating to call Carbon. I'm sorry this entry has been so odd and off topic (if it had any topic, that is). I'll write more later on. Bye!
*Racecar*
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