It's going to snow tomorrow night, which sucks because that is when I'm working. I'm so sick of the snow, I think that is the whole point of winter, is to make you want the summer to come again. I know I just want it to be warm enough so I can stop dressing in layers, wear a t shirt and open the sunroof of my car, so everyone can hear what I am listening to. Ha! I want to be one of those bastards who blasts their music too loud, but I know I could never really do it, and no one would probaby know what it is.
I have learned that it really sucks to live at a corner. I never did mention that I did, at least I don't think I have. I really hate it, becuase there is a stop sign in front of my house and I just want to steal it and hang it in my room. I know that's bad, but no one ever stops there. Just now an ass from Welfare Town Courts ran it and I yelled at him, but the jerk was driving a big ugly SUV, so he probably couldn't hear me. I think people who drive those cars must be pretty dense. I don't care if the Pope drove one, I'd still be pissed at him for it, even though he's probably not a bad guy or anything. I just don't like the way people drive, not all of them, but most of them.
There's too many cute guys I know at my school, most of them are in one of the music majors, too. The cute guy in my English class called me Barbie today, which I thought was weird. I was wearing this purple sweater I bought at Filene's a million years ago when all I wanted were tons of cheap sweaters. It's a really dorky looking one, I think it makes me look like a nerd, but I can wear layers under it and I kind of am a nerd. I don't think Barbie would do most of the things I do, I do have a cute dog like Ginger, but Blake is definately not her type of dog, he's got too much black in his fur. Plus, Ginger has allergies, so she is half bald and probably always will be. Anyways, it kind of offended me that he thinks I'm a stupid airhead type, because I don't think I am. I don't know if I really care about whether people think I am physically attractive or not, I would rather be considered smart. I want people to think I am smart and I want them to respect me, I don't want people to think I am some airhead with blonde hair and blue eyes who hops into a pink Corvette and goes and sees her retarded boyfriend (I always though Ken was ugly and this Blaine character doesn't look good, either. Does anyone else think of the movie Pretty in Pink when they hear that name? I think that's why I don't like that name, because Blaine was a popular asshole.) I just don't think that that's the way I am and I don't know why he would think I am that way.
I also like this guy who is friends with this other guy I like. Why do cute guys seem to go in groups? It's like torture, because they are always together and I always find a way to make an ass of myself in front of them. They respect Mr. Stick more than I do, because I don't like him at all and I really don't like being around him, yet I want him to like me and think I'm serious about music and that I'm good. I always feel like I need to prove myself when it comes to music, I feel like no one believes me except my Dad. Anyway, this guy is so cute he looks like this guy in a band I like, which I think is why I like him. I feel like such an idiot because he's older than me and so is his friend who I also like.
They're are only a few years older than me, it's not like they're old enough to be my father or anything. It just makes me feel really immature around them, though, because I don't listen to as much jazz and I don't handle tough situations as well as they do. They seem like they are so much smarter in general about life and I just feel dumb. I never know what to say around them, because I am always worried I will let something slip. I just wanted to get it out, though, becuase I was going to last night but I forgot to and then never added to the entry.
Tomorrow I have to get up early and it will be a busy day for me, so I'll write more later. I will probably write on Friday. I really hope we don't have school. I want vacation to come so bad, becuase everyone else is on vacation now, even though other colleges are. I wish I had gone somewhere else, but I don't know. Maybe I was meant to go here to meet some people or to learn something. It would be nice to date before I turn 40, I kind of feel old already. I'm sorry, I've just been bummed out on love for a way long time, so I always talk like that. I really need to learn not to. Does anyone have any ideas to help me on how not to? Please let me know. Also, if anyone knows how to make all the Viagra type commercails stop, please make them. I don't need to know about ed, I'm only going to date guys my age, not my Dad's age. It's just gross, why can't guys just talk to their doctor, you don't see nearly as many yeast infection commercials as you used to, becuase you talk to a freaking doctor for that! Sorry, it just irritates me. Bye!
*Racecar*
<< Wednesday, Feb. 23, 2005@9:25 p.m.>>