I'm sorry I haven't written in a while, I've been really busy. Friday I had work, then Saturday morning I had work. Then, I got home and had to go to my cousin's wedding, which was very boring because I was the only person my age there. I missed the toast and the first dance because I walked out to look around (it was at a beautiful country club). My Dad said I could walk around for ten minutes, so I did, but by the time I got back, my cousin and the rest of the wedding party were being announced, so I waited outside. Then, they went right into the dance and the toast, so I stayed outside, figuring that it would be rude. I waited out there for about ten more minutes, worrying that my Dad was going to punish me (I keep forgetting that I'm not a kid anymore) when I got in, or at least yell at me.
I got back in, and we really didn't do much but sit around and talk. My Grandmother bothered me about how I looked, my second cousin anxiously introduced me to her boyfriend, as if they were going to get married RIGHT then. Still, she's almost forty, so I'm sure she wants to get married, and she's been engaged a few times so I'm sure that she wants to get married. I actually think she will be the next to get married. I mean, I'm pretty far off, and most of my other cousins on that side and even on my Father's side are married.
I was really tired at the wedding. I tried wine for the first time, and I hated it. I guess it's no surprise, I hate party music, I hate being around tons of people at once, why wouldn't I hate alcohol? Well, it kind of bothered me, but I'm not sure why. I just feel like such a little kid, all I wanted was Coke, but they had Pepsi (which I hate and refuse to drink), so I had water, but they put tons of lemon in it, so it was very bitter. The wine was bitter, too, so I really didn't have much to eat, since I couldn't have anything to drink. The cake was okay, but it was too much like strawberry shortcake for my tastes. The ice cream was good, but it had strawberries in it, too.
I think the best thing about the wedding was the music before it. They had a violin and cello playing classical music, which was better than the two whole hours of Frank Sinatra, which was obviously my cousin's husband's choice. I think he controlled a lot of things with the wedding, and I couldn't believe it. I never saw my cousin as the type of person to just bend to someone like that. I guess she really loves him, but I just don't think it's right. I hope that I never end up like that, but I know I've done that stuff myself. If I get married, I don't want my husband to control things, I want to be his equal and for us to be a team. While I can be very quiet and reserved with someone at first, I wouldn't let a guy just run everything, because after a while I'd get to know him and let him know that I'm his equal.
I had to get up early on Sunday to go to work. It was pretty quiet yesterday because of the game and inventory. We closed at 6:30 instead of 8, which I thought was odd, we should've closed at 6. The woman I was working with stayed with me to make sure that I got out on time, which was nice. I just worry that she'll get in trouble for it. I think I did okay and I'm starting to understand that I need to pace myself more when I do work, instead of doing work all at once.
When I got home, I ate and talked to Jody for a while. Then, my Dad came home and I asked him to go downstairs so that I could play guitar, piano and conduct in the living room. There was nothing on last night, which sucked, so I decided to have a Gurren Lagann marathon, which was fun. I really love that show, and I like Nia, and I didn't think that I would, because a lot of people hate her because she's one of those princess types. I just love how she helps Simon realize that he can go on without Kamina, that he has abilities inside him that he hasn't realized yet. I did get a good amount of practice in, but I'm still slacking off when it comes to piano. I'll have to work on it more today and tomorrow. I also have to work on composition, which I don't feel like doing now. I shouldn't do it now anyway, since I should have a piano or at least Finale so I can hear what I'm doing, but I was thinking of at least planning it out more.
I got kind of depressed last night, and even Saturday. It's the usual stupid stuff, but I haven't been really crying or anything. I just like this boy and I feel all stupid about it. I mean, I'm kind of weird and I just don't know if anyone could be with me. I can be such a pain in the ass, I've lost most of my friends from high school (all, I think). I like to be alone a lot, and I don't have much time for social things, which bothers me but doesn't, it's hard to explain. I'm not sure where my life is going right now, and it's annoying.
The only things that made me feel better today were when he walked up to me after class and we talked about practicing piano together. We have to though, so it's not like either one of us wants to (well, I do, but you know that). I don't know when we will, I guess I'll talk to him more in piano. I have to say, I think we would be really cute together, but it could just be me. I almost think he is the same height as me, which is kind of odd. Oh, and we were talking about when we started playing in Intro to Music Teaching today. The teacher actually started playing when she was 18 (well, it was a guest lecturer, but she is a professor at URI, too) and a bunch of other kids, including another guitar player, said that they started playing when they were in high school, too. It made me happy to know I wasn't the only one who realized their dream later in life and had to work extra hard to go after it.
Anyway, it's almost eleven thirty now and I need to get something done before I go eat and watch Now and Then, Here and There on my iPod. I didn't even know it was on iTunes until a few days ago. The finale is on SciFi tonight, and I'll probably watch it anyway. It's a really good show, even though it's sad. If you ever get the chance, check it out, though only the subs are on YouTube, the dub is really good. Bye!-*Racecar*
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