I feel dead right now. Today is the last day of May, but it doesn't really feel like it. I'm glad school is almost over, but there's just a ton of stuff that's bad that's happening. I thought I was going to have something to do today, and it turns out I'm not. I'm supposed to go on a whale watch tomorrow, but that might get cancelled, too. Not only that, but I'm kind of worrie about this English portfolio we have to do, and the fact that I haven't done anything for it. I'm supposed to have saved my work, but I can honestly say that most of it is probably thrown out, so I have to spend part of the day cleaning my room and seeing what I can use.
I do have an announcement to make. I almost want to shut off my e-mail, because I keep getting all this useless junk, nothing the least bit important or coherent. Other than that, I don't have much else to write about. I'm kind of sad, because everyone is busy once again, and I'm doing nothing. Everyone has a job or a family. I want a job or a family, but I can't have either one. I'm just so tired of being the youngest, and being shitty at everything. I told my Dad I wanted to get hit by a car rather than drive one, and I almost think it's true. I'm not doing anything here. Nothing, with my life and I can't do anything, even though I want to. I just keep sitting around, waiting for the day when I can finally live the life I've dreamed of, but I don't think it's going to happen.
I was really mad at my friends yesterday. Not all of them, just FiFi and Boron. I showed them my permit picture, while neither of them showed me mine, and do you know what they did? They laughed at me! I told FiFi that I didn't like being laughed at yesterday, and I was telling her about the schedule for the day, because she's too fucking stupid to remember it. When I did say it, I said BADC because that's the order of the classes, and her and Hydrogen testify they heard me say ABDC, while Lithium says she heard me say it BADC, which I did. It pissed me off that they weren't even listening when I was talking.
They had my cd player blaring, and they were being idiots. I was frustrated by the whole thing, so I said that I was just really mad about the way that they had laughed at my permit picture. FiFi was saying that she didn't, and she thought it was cute. Then she told me all this shit about how it was nice that I'd spoken my feelings, but I shouldn't say it like that. I told her I was trying, which I am, and then she told me I just needed to calm down. I just have a short fuse with her now, and I feel like I don't get a great amount of respect from people around me, and I'm sick of it. You know, I don't tell her about how she has a problem with being a fucking drama queen, and how she hasn't done anything about it since the seventh grade. Yet, I'm expected to always listen to what a controlling, angry person I've been, while she's always doing some shit to get some attention. I'm just sick of her, but I know if I tell her the truth about how much she annoys me, she's only going to say something bad about me, get all defensive, and try to make me feel sorry for her.
I did go to a drive in last night with Dancer, Donner (her sister) and Donner's daughter, Dasher. It was pretty cool. There were three screens, so you could watch all three movies if you wanted to. We had to buy a ticket for "Daddy Day Care" and "X-Men 2" (it only cost about five dollars a person). Instead, we watched "Finding Nemo" on screen 3, which was at the other end. We craned our necks, and tuned the radio to the station the sound was on. It was a good movie, and next week, Dancer and a few more of us are going to see it at the regular movie theater, and then go to the mall, like we had planned last night. It was cool though, and I'm glad I could go, there aren't that many drive-ins still around, so this place was packed.
I came home around midnight, even though we didn't watch "The Lizzie McGuire Movie" that was after "Finding Nemo" because it was about ten thirty when the movie ended and we got out of there. Dancer drove me home, and I went to bed around tweleve thirty. I don't have anything to do today, so I think I'll try to go back to bed and then clean up my room and wash some clothes. I also wanted to talk to my Grandma, because there's just been so much that's been going on this week that I haven't told her. I'll write more later. Bye!
*Racecar*
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