I am going to make this quick, because I have some things I need to do and I want to try and get to bed around eleven. I have to read "The Illiad" and parts of "The Odyessy" over the next five days, and I think that totals to about two hundred pages of reading, since I don't have to read the whole second one.
Today was not a very good day. I didn't do good on my math lab test and got upset while trying to correct it because I didn't understand what I had done wrong on about four of the questions. One of the ones I didn't understand I can find out about from the book, but the other three were just things that I swore I had done right. There was also one question I was unsure of.
I got really angry with myself, and I honestly still am. I just can't help but feel angry at the way people treat me, or the way I will have to spend the next five years of my life wasting it at college. I feel like I won't be able to have many friends or a boyfriend while I'm in college. I feel like I am waiting for my life to start, just like I was in high school and I thought so much would change in college. It feels like nothing has changed at all and it makes me very depressed. I feel like my life will never change and I will never be good enough to have the people that I want in my life actually want me in theirs as well.
They called some security guards and those assholes from Advising and Counseling. They tried to talk to me and wanted me to go to the hospital, which is dumb because I wasn't sick. I'm very angry with myself, but I don't think going to a hospital that I owe money to, where the same thing that happened last time would probably happen again, will help me. It smells like a bunch of people came in there and just all took a pee and no one cleaned it up, ever. For the money they charge, they ought to be able to get a damn janitor or two to work for minimum wage and clean up. There's stuff that gets rid of the smell of pee, just ask anyone who's owned a dog or had a baby and they'll tell you what works.
Anyway, I am going to end up taking the lab over the whole summer session, which really sucks. I am going to try and get done on time, or maybe a week late. I am supposed to go to Advising and Counseling at eight on Monday morning but I don't want to go because they will keep me there all day and I don't think they will help me. Do you know what they told me to do? The same thing that everyone has been telling me to do for the past eighteen years. Go on some meds, Racecar, that will really help you. Thank you, but I don't have hundreds of years or dollars to waste being in a damn coma practically. While I like losing weight, I would rather work it off than spend my whole day sleeping instead of eating. They always tell me that I will find the right pill, but I think it will take forever and being on pills only makes me feel more abnormal. When did doctors become whores for money? I honestly think that that is why they are always giving people expensive, name brand drugs that they don't always need. I honestly hope that the future docotors know how corrupted their feild has become and try to stop it.
I went to see Fever Pitch with my Dad and it was really good. It was a romantic comedy, which was kind of weird. I thought I wouldn't like Jimmy Fallon being the guy, but he was good and there's something about Drew Barrymore that is kind of cute, but I'm not sure why. I really like Ben's room, he had a wall that was a replica of the Green Monster. It's not as about the Red Sox as I thought it would be, it's kind of like a love story that involves the Red Sox. I don't think you'll like it if you're a Yankee fan, but if you don't care then it won't bother you. There are four players in the movie, and if you don't like the Red Sox, you won't know where they play, but other than that, I think anyone who likes romantic comedies will like it.
I got a new cell phone, well my Dad got it while I was in my English class tonight. It's a Samsung camera phone with color, which is nice. I have no idea how to use it, but it is a million times nicer than my old one. I have the same number if anyone who knows it is reading this. I don't really know if I like the charger, but I have to charge it overnight so I will see. I am going to get ready to go to bed and do some reading tonight. I will write more tomorrow. Bye.
*Racecar*
<< Thursday, May. 19, 2005@9:54 p.m.>>