Hello. Isn't tonight just a lovely night for loud music? Maybe it's just me. I wish I could just listen to my loudest rock cds until I blew my ears out. Right now, I'm listening to some old rock song, it's not too old, but the band is one most people haven't heard of.
Anyway, I went to FiFi's house today, because I needed to get the key for her house, so I can take care of her cats this weekend. It stinks because all my friends are busy, but I need to do my summer reading, which I haven't even started. Meanwhile, everyone is busy and has already done it. I feel like I'm in a constant cycle of being behind everyone else.
Not only that, but I went to the my mom's doctor with my parents, and he thinks my mom is sick again. You see, she had cancer, and I was alone most of the time because of it. My dad works during the day from 10-6. When he gets home, it's about seven, and he has to go see my mom at night at the hospital, so he doesn't come home until eight thirty or even nine o'clock. That leaves me alone for a really long time (about six hours). If my mom is sick again, I'm probably going to kill myself.
*Semi-related tangent* You know how people don't like having needles stuck in them, because it hurts? Having my mom in the hospital is like having twenty needles shoved into me, throughout my body, all at once, at least in terms of emotional pain. If I want to get a job, or even take driving lessons, I can't, and she'll be going into the hospital in about two months (if she has it), and that's right around my sixteenth birthday party (if I get to have one).
I really don't care anymore. I've kind of given up on caring about that kind of stuff. Anything to get me through this time in my life (with the exception of drugs), is fine with me.
I did play Roller Coaster Tycoon tonight. It was so funny. I drowned a bunch of people, because they were ticking me off. I had to stop because Hacker (FiFi's ex boyfriend) came on. We talked for about fifteen minutes. He's online at night most of the time, which is good, because I've been really bored lately. I miss my friends. :(
Your insane friend in the sky,
*Grape*Cloud*
<< Wednesday, Aug. 14, 2002@11:06 p.m.>>