I never update this anymore, I am too busy updating my MySpace in hopes that Tristan will read it, not that he does, at least I don't think he does. I am so tired I'm thinking of going to bed now. I want to watch 30 Rock though, I love that show and it's going off for a while in March. Anyone who reads this, you should watch that show, it's really good. I've decided to make this diary, for now, a set of letters to Tristan, things I want to say to him, but can't. I don't know if I'll ever tell him all of the things I want to say, but this will help me to get stuff out of my system as far as he goes.
Dear Tristan,
I have wanted to tell you this for a while now, but I figured that now was as good a time as any. I like you and I have liked you for quite a while. I�m sorry if that bothers you, I didn�t intend to like you when I first wrote to you. That�s why I read your story, because I wanted to know more about you and I found it interesting. You are such a great guy, you�re smart, you write well and you�re one of the most handsome guys I�ve ever seen. I think you are the coolest guy and you have great taste in music and you�re a great musician, too. I really admire you as well, for all that you have gone through and yet you�re still so nice and understanding. I can relate to you and that�s one of the other reasons that I like you.
I�m sorry that I like you, I know you live far away from me and so it is stupid for me to like you. I don�t really know why I like you regardless of that, I just do. I�m sorry that I am not the most beautiful girl and I imagine that I am not the type of girl you like. I bet you feel creeped out, which is understandable and I don�t mean to make you feel that way. I am sorry to tell you this, I worry that it�s upset you. I don�t want you to be upset, I want you to be happy and I hope that you find the things in this life that will make you happy. You�ll find a job and a nice woman who loves you, I promise, it just takes a lot of looking to find that kind of stuff. All I can say is that everything in life happens for a reason, though I am not sure what my reason is.-Kate
I also wanted to tell him some other things.
Tristan,
Just because you play in a band and have a tattoo doesn't mean you aren't unique. You are nicer than most guys in bands that I have met and I think you are just the sweetest guy. You are gorgeous, too, the most beautiful guy I have ever seen. You have the best taste in music and you are just so cool. I don't think it's asking too much to want a girl who doesn't want to go out often, or at least not out drinking. You are just looking in the wrong places, though I am not sure if you know that. There are girls out there who don't have stupid friends or are inconsiderate of your feelings. There's a girl out there for you, and I have to admit that I wish that it was me.
I don't know French and I barely know Italian. I told you I know French so that you'd think I was just reading your story out of boredom and that it was easy for me to read. It wasn't that hard because I have a translator on my computer and I rearrange the words so that they make sense, it only takes me about five minutes to read what you write. I do it because I want to know more about you. I find it fascinating and I can relate to you so well, it's one of the many reasons I like you so much.
Anyway, I am doing okay, I want to know how you are doing. I think you will find a good job someday and a nice girl. You'll find what you need in this life, I promise. I really care about you. Bye.-Kate
<< Thursday, Feb. 22, 2007@9:11 p.m.>>