I'm just going to add an entry really quickly. I had my two finals today, one for Italian and one for Western Civ and they were both really easy. It turns out that we didn't have to do the essay for Western Civ if we felt we did really good on the fill ins and multiple choice, which I think I did. I also got two of the bonus questions right, which makes up for one of the two fill ins that I missed, so I'm pretty sure that I got a 96, or something close to that. I did my Italian and I'm not sure how I did on that, but I think I did okay.
Then I went to my guitar lesson, got my jazz book that I left at my Wakefield lessons on Friday back and got a lecture on how I shouldn't care what people think of my guitar playing, which is true. I then went to my clarinet lesson and got a new song to play and did an old one for the third week. I came home and practiced it and then I went online at CVS.com and applied for a job at the Welfare Town CVS, but I don't know if they are still hiring because that was a month ago. I really want to work there, because it just seems like such a nice place to work and I think I would really love it. I doubt they will get back to me, but at least I can tell my therapist I applied somewhere this week. I did it online because they have the computers there and it's always really busy at that CVS, though there's one only a mile away.
I have my jury tomorrow, so I need to go to bed soon. I'm sorry about not leaving anyone notes or anything, I'll get to that tomorrow. I didn't do much else today. I had my Music Theory final yesterday and that wasn't so bad, I think I did okay on that, not great but okay. I shoveled the sidewalk along my house, which is dumb because it's going to be fifty out tomorrow and all the snow is going to go away.
I handed in my financial aid information and they won't give me a dime to help me pay for college, which sucks. They say that my Dad makes too much money, but you have to realize that even though he makes $21,000 a year, about $10,000 of that goes to pay the mortgage that he will be paying until he is almost eight (he's 58 now, actually he'll be 58 on Sunday, but close enough). We're thinking of selling my Mom's rings even though they're not worth much, because we need the money and they are of no use to me, because she was a size five or four in rings and I'm a seven. Those rings won't even fit on my pinky, not that I would want them anywhere on me. It still ticks me off that money that could have gone towards college was put into some shitty jewelry box. You don't know how badly I want to throw all of her useless shit away, it just makes me mad how she put herself before the rest of her family. If she hadn't gotten that stupid Taurus, we wouldn't be paying the mortgage at all.
I broke a handle on the faucet today in the kitchen, which kind of upset me. I thought it was just a glue on type thing and that the glue had worn out but Dad said that it wasn't. I hate it when I break something that isn't easily fixed. Now he's going to have to go replace it and it's probably going to be expensive or something ugly. It's just that the faucet was leaking and I thought it was the hot water one so I pushed it and it fell off. The facuet kept leaking too, that kind of annoying drip that can keep a person up at night.
I'm kind of bummed because there is nothing under the tree and there won't be. Is that normal? Is it normal to be mad that my stupid cousin who is making more a week than I would make even if I had a job at CVS is getting more gifts than me? Is it normal to wish that I had a real Christmas tree that was properly decorated and that had gifts under it? I'm just so disappointed by the way that Christmas has turned out and it seems too late for it to change. I'm kind of bummed about this whole year. It seems I have accomplished nothing that I wanted to and I feel like I've walked out with less than I had last year at this time. I had an idea of who my friends were, my car was still in one piece instead of four (a bunch of stuff has fallen/been pulled off, it still runs, it just looks like shit)and I liked some asshole who would never like me. I still don't have a job or a boyfriend, but now I have ugly Christmas tree and a car in pieces that I wouldn't have the money to fix even if I had a job because I would be paying for college, since no branch of government seems eager to help me with that. I'm just so bummed out just looking at the year back. I wish I could erase it from my mind at times. This is always the stuff I think of before I go to bed and it's why I never go to sleep right away. Someone remind me not to read this one again.
*Racecar*
<< Tuesday, Dec. 21, 2004@8:55 p.m.>>