I just wanted to make a small note in here that my last entry is supposed to have an extra few paragraphs that are not showing up right now. I'll let you know when they show up again, because they are showing up in my edit/delete entries page, when I try to edit the entry. Yet, they are not showing up in the actual entry itself. I'm going to put them in this entry, which I will delete when the other entry shows up right again. It seems like the only think that works on Diaryland is the adding entries feature. I tried to update squarone, but I can't. I'm going to update that diary to gold over the summer and I'll let you know when it happens. Here are the missing paragraphs from the last entry:
My guitar teacher asked me what I've been listening to yesterday and I couldn't tell him. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I always feel like I can't tell people what I like. I even feel embarassed writing in here sometimes about what I like. I worry people will read this and think I am phony, that I am only saying I like some of this stuff because it's popular. I also feel the need to lie and say I listen to complicated music to musicians, because everything I listen to is probably power chords or really simple chord progressions. I kind of feel stupid listening to what I do listen to because I feel I should listen to more complicated stuff. I just wonder if anyone has any idea as to why I am so embarassed to admit that I like the things I like? I hate trying to look cool in front of people, but I know I want to.
I also hate the way that I am always wanting a boyfriend. I really want a guy to hug me and kiss me, to tell me that I am pretty and that he loves me. I know it probably sounds really dumb, and there are so many guys that I would not mind if they said that to me at all, yet I know they never will. It really bums me out that I have never held hands with a guy and I want to know what it feels like. I worry that I get too attached to guys though, because I still think, everyday, of a guy I used to like and probably still like, who I haven't even talked to in over two years, almost two and a half. I also like a bunch of guys who I have no chance with, but there is one who stands out in my mind, probably because my chances with him are slim to nil, yet he seems like everything I want in a guy, along with some things that I just find odd, but in a cool way. I can't help but think about him, and i even miss him, even though he's gone and I don't really talk to him whether he is around or not. I think I'm going crazy sometimes. Also, why is everyone rushing to get gas all the time? I got some today and it was a three car line, two before me. I wish this country was movre concered about getting fuel efficent cars than paying a few pennies less for gas, and it scares me how the government has links to the oil companies, I worry that fuel efficient American cars will never happen and that too many Americans don't care about the enviroment, which is bullshit, because that's where we live and I think global warming is real. I just had to get that stuff off of my chest.
<< Saturday, Mar. 19, 2005@11:52 p.m.>>