I feel kind of weird lately. I worked on black Friday and on Saturday for nine hours on both days. It was very tiring and I had Sunday off, even though they called me at eight in the morning asking me to come in. I never called back because I was tired and didn't want to work. They make you feel guilty when you tell them that you can't work or that you don't want to work. I'm working today for four hours and on Wednesday for four hours. I'm working on Friday for about seven hours, if I remember properly. I do need the money, but I don't want to overwork myself becuase it's essential that I work hard and do good at school so I can get into a good four year college.
I keep thinking about Tristan, I don't know what my problem is. He lives so far away that it makes me feel like it's not worth it to try and pursue him, but then I read the things he writes in French about his college days and it just makes me feel like he is very similar to me and would understand me in a way that I don't think other guys could. I don't even know if I should let him know that I am reading it, I odn't want to seem stalkerish and I don't want him to think that I know French because I don't. I've been using one of those translating programs, which works okay, but it's still not easy to read. I've gotten the gist of what he's written. I want to write to him and tell him that I understand him better than he knows, and that I care about him. I wish he could feel the same way and everything, but even then things still seem impossible. I just want to know what anyone who reads this things, so if you could leave me a note, that would be cool. If this whole thing is as stupid as it probably sounds, then I'll try to just seem him as the type of guy I'd like to date and not the guy I want to date. I certainly don't think his idea of a girl includes the fact that she doesn't understand his first language and that I live in another country three thousand miles away. He likes Spanish girls, too and I don't think he would find me good looking since it's obvious I'm not one. I think he might also see me as a little sister type and not a girlfriend type.
It kind of irritates me that I can't like a guy who lives nearby me. It seems like all the girls I know like a guy who lives close, someone that they can introduce their friends to. I can't do that with him, and I feel crazy acting like I know him when I've never even met him. I don't even tell any of the authority figures in my life because I know that they will probably tell me I'm crazy. I'm kind of suprised that no one reading this has told me that, I haven't read my own writing in a while, but I must sound crazy.
He's been writing about his college experience and it makes me want to write about mine on MySpace, but it's probably already been written in here and I think he will know that I've read his if I start writing the same thing. I don't think he reads my blog though. I really do want to start writing again, I think I will probably just write a short story though, about my Grandmother taking over the world, since that's what my public speaking teacher suggested I write about in eleventh grade and it honestly sounds like a plausible idea to me and it would make a good story, at least I think it would.
It was weird, on Celebrity Paranormal Project last night they were using the multitrack recorder that I have to try and record ghost's voices. I was laughing about it and shouting about it. If anyone wants to contact the dead, you should call me up and borrow my recorder because that one costs four hundred dollars, which I still owe my Dad. I have to go download a program to write my invention on. I will try and upload an mp3 of it when it's finished. I don't have a title for it, if anyone can think of one for me, that would be cool. I was thinking of something Tristan related (of course) I haven't honestly been thinking of that much else lately. It's sad how quickly someone can take over my brain, isn't it? I'll write when I can.-Kate
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