I got out of class a half hour early this morning, so I decided I would write for about ten minutes. I've been feeling kind of depressed this morning, this whole semester kind of feels like it's gong to go down the drain. I mean, I don't have much time to myself, it's always homework or school. So it sucks because I never get the time to try and talk to new people, or go out and try to make new friends. I could really use some, too, since I don't have too many real life ones.
I did hang out with a friend on Friday night/ Saturday morning. It was supposed to be this thing at Denny's and a bunch of people were supposed to come, but I don't think most of them understood what he meant by Saturday morning (we met at midnight, so it was Saturday morning). I was the only one who showed up, so we spent the time at this huge table, since he thought there were going to be five or six people coming. We drank hot chocolate (it was very cold out, I was shivering getting in and out of my car) and he had something to eat, while I just had some hashbrowns. I really don't like them, at least not the ones that aren't from McDonald's, the regular kind are just so greasy. Still, I felt odd being at a restaurant and not eating.
We talked about all kinds of things. It turns out that he likes Bleach too, and he is a nerd in general. He's Hydrogen's older brother, Nad (I used to call him that because he wrote a story with a character named that). In reality, his name is Dan, but Nad is funnier. I told him about my music, and when I got home, I sent him some of my violin miniatures. If anyone wants to hear them, I can send them to you, but it takes three e-mails because there are seven of them. Not to mention Finale hates me and makes them in all kinds of odd formats. I'll probably ask again if anyone wants them after the composer's concert in December, since those will all be mp3s and actually sound like real instruments.
We talked for about two hours, so I didn't get home until almost three. I spent a while playing a bit of guitar and sending him those pieces, so I ended up going to bed around four, which was the latest I've gone to bed in a while. I got up at ten thirty for work, which was until five.
It was super busy at work, and it was kind of busy yesterday, too. I actually was kind of sad, because the woman I worked with yesterday is very outgoing and nice. Everyone likes her and she gets tips (we're not supposed to take them, but I don't get them very often anyway, so it's not much of a problem). I just felt sad because it seemed like she brightens the days of those around her, while I don't think I really do. I'm not sure what I do for people anymore, I almost feel like some kind of black hole, just empty and not noticed by others. It's this feeling that has made me kind of sad today, as well. It's really all the usual stuff, to be honest.
It's kind of sad how we are stuck in our lives sometimes. It seems like everyone has big dreams at some point, but then most never achieve that. I wonder if that will happen to me, too. I can't say that I see myself settling down with anyone anytime soon, but I could easily end up living alone in some skanky apartment in Warwick. Would I want to? Hell no, but it just seems so easy to get stuck in a place where you don't want to be, with people you don't want to be around. I swore I would get out of this place one high school ended, and I'm still here. I swore again that I would get out once college ended, and I am only just now finishing it. My savings are pretty much stalled and I keep managing to put crap on my credit card. I really need to buckle down and save money, but all I can do is talk about it before something else catches my eye.
Anyway, I should really go eat now. I am supposed to hang out with Nad tomorrow, but I'm not sure what we're doing or when we're doing it. I only know that he is only around before four, so it will probably be around eleven. I'm going to try and write him on Facebook really quick. If any of you are on there, let me know. I don't have too many friends on there.-*Rukia*/*Racecar* (Someone tell me which name I should put here-I'm leaning towards Rukia, but only Renesmee calls me that).
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