My template, the Paul Frank one, it died. The image wasn't showing up, because I'm a doofus and didn't save it to my computer, like I've done with every other layout I've used, including this one. That's because there was no place that I could get the images from, you know what I mean? I like this one, because Dr. Nick is my favorite character on The Simpsons that isn't a main character. He's just so stupid and funny at the same time.
Anyway, since I have done pretty much nothing these past few days, I'm going to do my Dear You second entry. I'm sure no one cares to read these, but they're very cathartic for me, because there's so many things I want to say to people that I can never say them to, either because I'll never have the gall to talk to them, or because they're such assholes they won't listen to me, though some people actually knew how I felt no matter what.
I broke a string last night (always those B strings, why?) and I bought some new ones today, but only replaced the B string. I need to learn to start replacing strings myself, because I'm going to die in college if I don't. I also got a call from the college and they screwed up my schedule, which is just my luck (at least as of the past four years of my life). I hope it was the Intermediate Italian, since it's not even in the course book we were given. I think I should have an option of what language I take too, because I'm paying for it and because we had a choice in high school, though that was one of the few choices we ever had. I honestly want to learn Sign Language, because it doesn't involve talking and I already know all the grammar of it, because it's American Sign Language. I honestly sucked at Italian pronunciation and grammar, which is why I NEVER talked in Italian.
I went to Newbury and bought my two weekly cds, I think my Dad knows that I do it, too. This week I got the Sex Pistols and Bob Dylan for $8 and $9, because all their cds are on sale. I'm not sure why, though I did notice that most of the older Bob Dylan cds had remastered versions that were about $15. I can't honestly tell the difference with some of this remastered stuff. I also saw an asshole with a Cadillac Escalade (the root of all evil) blasting his rap music. I can't stand Cadillacs, they're too big and they waste gas, with gas still about $2 a gallon, I don't understand how much higher those prices have to get for dumb people to stop driving "status" vehicles and start driving real cars. I mean, any regular car can hold the same amount of people and there are cars that give nice rides, too. Some people are so damn stupid.
I'm going to write my dear you letters now, here they go:
1. I can still remember when I first saw you, and you're still just as cute. I wish your attitude would change though, and that you could learn a thing or to. I'm sorry that I don't pay attention to you as much as I used to. Things have changed since then, both of us have changed and I know you've been through something that most don't have to go through. I love you though and so do Dad and Blake. (well, now everyone knows who that is).
2. I remember when I met you I thought you were completely and utterly crazy, but I thought you were cool, too. I ended up feeling more for you than I have for anyone else since or before. I could really relate to you, and I'm an idiot for not telling you that, and not telling you how I felt and still feel. You made me feel like I was okay, not bad and that a guy could like me and should. No guy has ever made me feel good about myself when I liked him, and that's how I knew that you were different. I think about you every day, even though you've been gone for quite a while now. I know you're out there somewhere, I just wish I could find you and tell you everything, though you seem to already know that, you've dealt with the same things. I'm afraid to tell anyone about you, because I'm afraid they'll say I'm stupid. The whole time I knew you, I always felt you would play a pivotal role in my life, I'm not sure if your role has ended or not, but I still feel that way. I wish you would come back more than anything in the world, just so I could talk to you for support. I hope that you have found happiness and that I see you again someday. I still care about you, in case that's not obvious.
3. When I met you, I couldn't stand you one bit. I thought you were a jerk and that you had a flithy mind. I must be crazy though, because I ended up liking you, though I think it's probably the most superficial crush I have ever had on a guy. You're just so weird and interesting and I can relate to you, though I know you wouldn't like me. Yet I still like you, and probably will for a while, though I'm not sure why. I think you are honestly very adorable, which is something I would never say about another guy. I also wonder what it would be like to hug you and to talk to you, because you seem so calm and collected. I wish I knew your secret, I wish you'd tell it to the world, because I know a few too many people who let their lives be destroyed by what others, who barely know them, who don't know them anymore, or who just love to hate them say about them. I'm one of them, but it really hurts me to see some people be so bothered by it. I know you don't owe me anything, but I wish you would tell me how you do it.
That's really it for right now, if I come up with anymore, I'll write in another entry. Tomorrow is my Dad's first day of vacation, so he'll be home for a week, irritating me and taking me places. He said we would go and get some stuff for my Apple and we're going to the zoo to see giraffes (they're my favorite animal) and all the other animals. I want to go to the drive in, too, because there aren't many drive ins in this country anymore. Strangely, I think the only two in the Northeast are about fourty minutes apart and not too far from my house. I'll write more later.
*Racecar*
<< Saturday, Jul. 17, 2004@11:13 p.m.>>