Hello. I don't know if anyone noticed that I wasn't on last night, because I normally would be. I didn't stay home and watch tv like I had planned. No, instead I was in the hospital and depending on what time you're thinking of doing various things. Like being physcially strapped to a bed and having tranquilsers put into my thighs. I've been sleeping most of the day and when I got home, I went right to bed. I have been sleeping on and off all day and in between, playing clarient, doing my sight singing and my homework.
I hit my car into a rock in the driveway on the way home from guitar lessons. I had a panic attack because I worried my Dad would hate me because I screwed up the car again. The stupid cops were there because of the construction and he called an ambulance and it picked me up and took me the hospital because the cop thought I would kill myself because I said I hated my life (still true).
I ended up waiting for two hours until my Dad came and we waited another two hours. That's when I had another panic attack and started hitting myself. That's when they strapped me down to a bed and put some tranquilzers in my thighs, which are now black and blue. I yelled about wanting to go home, my Dad came in again and talked to me. The social worker I had to see came in and yelled at me for yelling, saying she wouldn't talk to me until I calmed down. I was really scared, and I'm wasn't sure why. I'm still kind of scared, it feels like someone put my brain on autopilot.
I talked to the social worker eventually and she talked to my Dad as well. They finally let me go after being tied up (litterally) for thirty minutes and being there for five hours. I got my clothes on and jumped into bed when I got home.
I called Grandma today and told her about how I was scared when I woke up and there was nothing to eat. My aunt and uncle came over and brought me some cereal and a sandwhich the size of five small sandwhiches. I ate my lunch which was the cereal and I'll attempt to eat the sandwhich soon. I was scared because I don't know what they put in me, but it makes me feel weird, like my brain is always tired though I don't do anything major. I can't sleep for more than an hour when I try to though, I just hope I don't feel like this tomorrow.
I really didn't feel like writing this but I did. It was like a really big nightmare that came up out of nothing. The idea that it really happened scared me. I didn't even get dinner at the hospital, because it sucked. Right now I'm going to try and stay awake and work on my Web Project and my guitar playing. I'll write more tomorrow if I can.
*Racecar*
<< Saturday, Nov. 06, 2004@3:46 p.m.>>