I'm sorry I haven't updated in so long, but this week was very busy. Things at work haven't been going so well lately, as usual for me. The weekend and last Monday were horrible since the departments were a mess and no one else in softlines wanted to help me on Saturday or Monday. I was honestly pretty pissed about it. They make me feel so weird and alienated and they're always moving me around which makes it hard for me to really learn one area. I am so sick of working in Infants, Girls and/or Shoes, because people throw stuff all over the floor there and get mad that you don't know everything. It makes me mad how people there treat me like I'm stupid just because I'm new, and even though I've been working there for a month now, I still don't have a new nametag that doesn't say I'm new.
Tuesday was okay, Katie and I cleaned up my room so the new desk would fit in, though my bed is next to the wall now which is weird. It's also closer to the tv in my room which feels odd. I got my desk on Wednesday and I love it because now my laptop is safe from falls, which is the reason I've broken three power chords in two years. I'm going to see if I can find one on eBay for a little cheaper, seventy dollars is too damn much for a power chord, I mean, didn't I pay enough for the computer? I wish I didn't have a laptop, though it's sad because Katie is always wish she did. I almost want to give her mine, but my Dad would kill me and I might need it someday if I can get my shit together.
I went to the Sheryl Crow/John Mayer concert on Tuesday night. It was fun, but it was very cold out so I was freezing even though I was wearing jeans, a t shirt and a sweatshirt over it. I only really went to see Sheryl Crow and she was great, she played most of the songs I like by her, though I like all of her songs, which I know sounds weird. I had a dream about her the night before I went to the concert, too, which was weird. I dreamt she invited my Dad and I over to her house, and we went with her in a limo. For some reason, she had a huge house out in the woods around here, which is weird, becuase I'll never understand why anyone would want to live around here, I know I wouldn't if I had money. Anyway, we sat around and watched tv in her living room, my Dad was embarassing me like always and she was making us French fries or something, though she had butter around, lots of it (I think it's because I watched Pee Wee's Playhouse before I went to bed, his fridge is full of butter). I fell all over the floor in her living room and I was trying to impress her and she was saying it was weird she made French fries because she doesn't eat them. Then we went back to the concert, which was where the whole thing started, and I didn't want to leave her house.
I told my Dad about it because my Dad said that he knew about meanings of dreams. I didn't want to tell him and I'm kind of sorry I told him because I couldn't sleep that night because of what he said. He said that it was wishful thinking on my part and that I wanted Sheryl Crow to be my Mom. I know it's an odd thing to cry about, but it just made me realize I didn't like my own my so much I wanted someone else to be my mom, and that made me feel bad becuase I felt stupid for wanting someone famous to be my mom. I should want someone I actually know to be my Mom, not someone I've seen on tv. I also kind of feel bad for her, I always feel bad for people I think are cool, because what if she met me and thought I was a dork or something? I know that's odd, I always have such odd thoughts. I mostly felt bad for wanting someone else to be my Mom though, I feel bad that I didn't love my Mom the way so many people I know do. Whenever I tell someone that my Mom died four years ago, they almost always say "That's horrible" becuase they're thinking about how lost and heartbroken they would feel in they lost their Mom. I just don't feel that way though, I didn't feel lost or heartbroken. I do feel lonely at times and I wish I had a Mom, but not the one I had, I feel bad about not being happy with what I was given. It sucks how I haven't met someone who feels the same about their Mom or Dad I kind of wish I could so I wouldn't feel so odd. It felt good to get that all out.
I went to the Red Sox game last night, which wasn't the slaughter I thought it would be. It was a good game but I was seated next to some asshole who took up his seat and half of mine and kept hitting into me. It really frustrated me and I ended up blowing up at my Dad later. I feel so bad for him to put him through so much shit all the time. I know he's family so he should be able to deal with it, but he's my Dad and I want him to be happy.
I heard about Jon Lester having cancer and it made me almost cry. I feel bad for him, but I'm not sure why, he's just so damn young and it freaks me out. I really wish they would figure something out for cancer, but I just don't have that kind of faith in the pharmacutical (sorry if that's spelt worng) industry. I also heard about Papelbon, and that really sucks. It feels like the season is over, though some part of me keeps telling me to hope it's not. I don't think I'll fully give up hope until the end of the month, no matter what happens. It's sad how I have more faith in the Red Sox than in myself. My Buddy List is all lit up, so I'm going to go read some stuff on it now. I'll write when I can. Good night.
*Racecar*
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