I'm not honestly feeling too good and what I write right now is basically theraputic for me, which probably means it is going to suck for you to read it, or at least be very irritating. I'm sure it really pisses people off how I complain that my life sucks when some people's lives suck much worse than mine and I realize that, but like any human on this entire planet, I'm more self centered than I should be or have any right to be. It's also Christmas and I don't think there isn't a person around here right now who isn't stressed and treating everyone like shit because of it. I know I am.
I tried to take those damn Zoloft, I took the lowest dose possible, 25mgs and what do I get? A fucking headache that would not go away and I was getting dizzy and a little disoriented, too. I thought my car was leaking fumes, too, but it was just those fucking pills. I really love how I took something that a ten year old could take and it knocked me on my ass. I love how stupid doctors think I should take pills, because feeling like someone is drilling a whole in the left side of your skull for eight hours straight is a lot better than feeling like shit because no one wants to be around you. Yeah, I felt much better and I was so much happier with throbbing pains in my head! I really wish that all these fucking doctors would get the hint that not only do I hate pills, but my body, for once doing something nice for me, doesn't like them either! I don't want to try out all these pills that make me feel worse becuase some asshead thinks they'll make me feel better. I want someone to talk to, someone who will help me to not worry so much, I want to know that things will be okay, that I can get a good job, some nice friends who won't abandon me even when they see my bad side and a nice guy who will love me even though he can see my problems, because he can see past them, too. I also realize that was a huge run on sentence, but that's all I want right now.
So, I stopped taking the pills today, I also loved the side effects of making people suicidal if they stopped taking them. I can't believe the FDA lets this shit on the market, you didn't want to kill yourself before, but because of this drug, you suddenly want to die becuase your brain is so depressed from not getting a chemical it didn't have to begin with. I just think that's a drastic side effect, I mean, I don't mind being tired, but I don't want to feel like I need to throw myself off a bridge if I have to stop taking my pills for some reason.
Anyway, I took my car to the dealer today to get my transmission fluid changed and it was the stupidest thing I have ever done with my car. The first guy we talked to said it couldn't be done because it was a closed transmission system, the second said my car has too many miles on it (because 119k is an awful lot, isn't it? I bet my car is the first to go over 100k! I should probably call Volkswagen right now so they can take a picture of it!) and when we went and talked to the dealer in Wakefield, they said it was a closed system. The manual to my car says otherwise, and it actually tells you how much transmission fluid needs to be put back in after you drain it. It seems like VW would know more about their transmissions than anyone else, so I'm thinking that I can get my tranmission fluid changed after all, but who will do it?
Anyway, they insisted on flushing the radiator, even though my car takes ten minutes to heat up, which is normal. They flushed the radiator not even two years ago, so it felt pointless. We had to go there to have them tell us that they wouldn't do the transmission job, they didn't call us to ask if we wanted the radiator flushed still, they just did it. They also said it wouldn't be ready until five, because it takes nine fucking hours to do a twenty minute job, right? I also went to see if they had gotten my touch up paint, and because I had to get the darkest green Jetta ever, they don't make that color anymore because the paint companies switched and they don't have that code. You have got to be fucking kidding me, and they never called to tell me this, either.
Then, when I did get my car, they fucking parked it so I would have back out, and put it next to a GMC truck, which I couldn't fucking see around and which was facing out and across from a big ass Ford truck with a full bed. I had NO fucking room to back up and then one of the sales guys comes up behind me (I swear, the whole world must know when my car is backing up because there is ALWAYS a car on my car's ass end while I'm doing so). He honked the fucking horn at me, too, which made me think that he wanted me to hurry up. I fucking lost it right then and there, nearly hit the big fucking Ford (someday, I will get an F350 and push it off a cliff, I swear), which is why he honked at me. Anyway, I yelled at him, gave the keys to my Dad, who was mad at me for yelling. I also yelled at him for taking nine hours to change the fluid, but I don't think he gave a fuck. They don't give a fuck at Fiore, they don't give a fuck about VWs at all, unless GM goes bankrupt or people finally stop driving shitty SUVs, and you know that will never happen with the average IQ in this country hovering damn close to 100 or less. Then they'll care, I bet they do now, too, because gas is almost $2.30 around here. In summation, I will NEVER take my car there again and I'm just wondering if I'll need another dipstick, or if one of the gaskets is leaking, since that's what happened the last time they "fixed" it, stupid fucks.
Is there such a thing as a good car dealership? I honestly don't think there is, though Rizzo Ford seemed nice when we dealt with them, I would never buy a Ford ever again, I honestly associate them with those fat stupid people who shop at Wal Mart and have at least six dumbass kids, none of whom they can control. I don't know who is making a thinking person's car anymore, it seems like no car company is, but damn if I didn't feel like driving two feet down the road to Majestic Honda and just buying a Civic. I heard they had a good service department, though I've never dealt with them. My Dad's truck is a mess, too, the brakes are squealing like pigs and he keeps braking fast now, probably because he's scared they won't stop right, which I can understand. It seems like everything is just falling apart and getting worse, not better.
I hope when vacation comes and the holidays end that I'll feel better. I really need some sleep. The only really good thing that happened today is that I'm getting a DVR from the cable company tomorrow and I'll NEVER miss one of my favorite shows again, most notably Arrested Development, though I'll be bummed when that gets canceled. I'll write more later, because some other good things happened today, but I am honestly just really peeved about my car right now and I'm not sure what to do. They even put a fucking plastic bag (a GM one, no less, if they ask me if I own a GM one more time, I will throw my car keys at them and ask them, and they'll say "Yes" because they're that stupid) on the driver's seat, even though I have a seat cover already on it. I don't even care about my car's interior anymore, I've given up on it the way the government gave up on fixing social security (do you notice they don't talk about it anymore, or is it just me?). It needs to be detailed someday, but the whole car looks like some spilled an entire coffeemaker's contents on the seats and it's winter so I have to wait to get it cleaned.
Also, my Grandma got all mad at me because I said I don't agree with the Catholic church because she's Catholic (this whole damn state is Catholic, I swear). She said my Dad and I don't have a religion and made us sound bad, even though neither of us have the time to go to church and we're Baptist, hence the whole "not agreeing with the Catholic church" thing. I honestly get mad at her for assuming stuff so much and just acting like an ass just because I don't mind if gay people get married. I also would love to know where in the Bible it says that gay people are wrong, because I always people say it's in there, but no one ever sites a specific part of the book and a specific section. I've heard people say it's in Corinthians (I probably spelt that wrong, I don't know where our Bible is), but where? I'm too tired to argue now, but I just don't like the way the church is so old fashioned but I don't have a problem with the people who are a part of it, a great deal of Catholics are in the music department at school, even the teachers are all openly Catholic. I'm not even sure what to think anymore, but writing this did make me feel better, and that's all I care about right now.
*Racecar*
<< Thursday, Dec. 15, 2005@10:27 p.m.>>