I just came back from working on the project. I swear it's the weirdest feeling I've ever felt. I feel like I've been living in a dream world for the past few hours, and the time just flew by. I feel like my arms and legs are made of noodles, and I'm about to fall apart at any minute.
I was early, even though I thought I would be late. So, we talked for about thirty minutes, and then one of the girls came and she took out her camera. During this time, he was trying to keep his dog away from me, and he sat next to me. I could smell his cologne, and it smelled really nice. I know it's kind of odd to say that, but I can't help it.
There's just something about him I like, and I know exactly what's going on, and what's going to happen. I can almost see it in my mind. I doubt he really sees me as anything, but it's nice to get that feeling back. That feeling that things are great, and that you can look forward to being with that person. I can at least dream about it, can't I?
I know that if I were to tell any of my friends this, they would ask me: "Who is he?". I don't really want to say, because I just don't want anyone to know, especially not him, because I don't think he'd like me. I did a hundred things today that are considered embarassing, and what if he noticed every one of them?
I know that I'll be like this for a while, so this is a warning to anyone who knows me: it will end, but not right away. I kind of don't want it to end. I miss feeling this way, and it's not like it was with Chip-Chop. I don't know what it's like, but it's really a great feeling.
I don't want to tell him how I feel though, unless I'm sure he feels the same way. I'm not too bad at reading guys, and I don't think he really feels anything towards me, or any of the girls who were working with us. I guess that's a good thing, but I'm not really sure.
There's been so much to write lately. I want to fill this diary with the things my old diary was filled with, because I don't think my old one will ever come back. At least not the way I love and remember it. Not only that, but I just don't remember the last time I really felt this way. I know I'm getting all mushy, but I just love being in love, and caring about someone, and thinking about them. Just to have something to look forward to in this life. Something that makes me want to strive to be a better person, which I honestly should always be doing.
That's really all I have to say for now, until I find some better feelings to describe the way I turly feel. I'm sure some of you think I'm nuts. By the way, a note to most of the people who read this: the entry before this is probably also one you haven't read. Bye!
Your insane friend in the sky,
*Grape*Cloud*
<< Monday, Jan. 20, 2003@4:42 p.m.>>