I haven't been up to much lately. I got my hair cut today and now it's shoulder length. It's even curlier now and the hairdresser kind of layered it in the front. It's nice because it frames my face, but I'm worried that it looks to much like the haircut this girl in my Italian class has and I'm worried she'll be mad at me because of it. I know that's stupid, but it's happened before.
Also, if I see one more place that says they are hiring with a sign on their store and I go in there and they say there are not hiring, I am going to scream. If your store is fully staffed, where is the person who has five minutes to take down the that says you are hiring? I went to Family Dollar today and the guy said they weren't hiring, yet there was a damn hiring sign. It left me in a fould mood. Then I went to CVS and they have an electronic application now, which is another thing I hate, because the keys are all sticky on the computer and you don't really know how it works. It's like someone giving me their guitar and telling me to play. I don't like using stuff that doesn't belong to me. I remember I did an online application at Target and it was really hard to finish because the keys were all messy so I kept making mistakes and it took me a really long time to finish the application.
I'm going to go on Saturday and try to apply to some places. I'm just kind of pissed off at myself that I don't have a job. The whole thing about the dent in my car and my Dad being mad about it at and it made me feel bad. I feel like he doesn't trust me because of that. I just feel like I'm a bad kid because I don't have a job and I'm still not sure what I want to do with my life. I still make him take me to concerts and places like that because I have no friends and it just makes me feel really bad.
I brought my guitar to show the therapist on Monday and she loved it. It was fun to play for someone who didn't mind when I made a mistake and who wanted to hear me. I don't really get to do that very often. I brought the guitar with me to Western Civ, but no one noticed, not even that cute guy. It kind of bummed me out because I was hoping that I could talk to him and use my guitar as kind of a way to start a conversation with him. You know, have him ask me if I play guitar and then go on from there. I was also kind of upset that the guy I thought liked me in Music Theory and Sight Singing (meaning I see him everyday) spent all class chatting up this girl who was near me. Of course, her name is the same as my real name, so every time he talked to her, or anyone talks to her, I look up and think someone is talking to me. Like most everyone who has the same first name as me, she's popular. I was a bit jealous of her to be honest, because I don't get attention from guys or girls. I know it's dumb, but I want to get attention from guys, just to know that I could have a boyfriend before I turn twenty. It's embarassing to think that I haven't been asked out in two years or that I've never held hands with a guy. I'm not even guy crazy and I never have been. I've always liked one guy at a time and only him until I realize he's a jerk or something and then I move on eventually. I'm just kind of tired of liking guys and having it never get any further than that. It makes me feel like I'm an unattractive loser.
I really don't have much else to say. Little has really happened. My Dad woke up really late on Monday and I had to drop off some mail so he could be at work on time. It was really weird because that's the first time that has ever happened. Do you ever hate it when you think something hasn't happened and then it does? I have these sparkly stones in my watch and I was thinking today of how none of them had fallen out, right? One of them fell out today. It kind of gets on my nerves that I was stupid enough to buy a watch that I knew was going to fall apart. The election is next week and I wonder who's going to win. I'm going to go vote with my Dad since it's my first time voting. I feel bad because we're voting for different people. I'm not really sure that I like either candidate for president, because they both seem like they wouldn't do anything to help us. I'm so sick of seeing only rich old white men run for president. Why aren't there any Hispanics, Asians or African Americans? Why no women? Why no rich people? I just don't get how they can relate to the common people when they aren't the common people. I think I'm going to vote anyway, because I'm kind of leaning towards one of them, but it seems stupid because Kerry will win Rhode Island no matter what. A baked potato could run for president and if it was a democrat, he would win RI.
Anyway, I'll write more later. I have to try and get to bed and maybe do some reading for Western Civ. The construction is going to be coming to my house soon. The water authority is putting in new pipe lines. I really wish they would just get on with it already, they've been ruining the roads in this area of town for over a year now. I'm so sick of every road around here being ripped up. I'll write more later.
*Racecar*
<< Tuesday, Oct. 26, 2004@9:22 p.m.>>