Today wasn't a good day, but I feel the need to write about it. I got into an accident right near my house on the way to work. I'm okay, but my car might not be. This girl had her blinker on and I thought she was turning into the street that I was on, so I started to make my left turn. Well, she hit me and she didn't even try to hit her brakes. I yelled at her saying that she had her right blinker on and that I thought she was going to turn. She said she had it on to go into the shithole house at the corner, but she had her blinker on too early and everyone I've told about it think it's her fault.
I got pretty upset after that, I was yelling and crying, because I have put over a thousand dollars into that car. I love my car and want to keep it running until I can get on just as nice. I damn well know that I have the nicest car out of anyone that I know (including the girl who hit me) and everyone who I tell about my car says it sounds nice. I would feel like an asshole not to take care of it. I hate it when people like my Grandma tell me that I shouldn't take care of that car. Then she has the fucking nerve to tell me that I can't drive her car because I'll wreck it, too. I wanted to fucking tell her to go to hell, I was going to even volunteer to take it to Fiore Pontiac and get her the part she needed or even give her a few dollars to use it for a day or two. I just can't believe that she would do that to me, after telling me for two years that she would give me the car, yet she still has the audacity to call my car a piece of shit. Well, she isn't allowed in or near my car, and neither is my uncle (on my mother's side) for saying that shit about me. They said I couldn't even drive the Ford Taurus my uncle was supposed to give my Dad. Yet my Dad trusts me with his Ford Ranger, which is bigger than Sunfire or a Taurus. I can't believe my own family would do that to me in a time of need, I thought blood was thicker than water, but I think mine must be pretty damn thin. As far as I am concerned, I have no mother and her side of the family is a bunch of fucking snobs who wish they lived on Federal Hill (it's an Italian section of Providence that is very expensive to live in).
The first thing I did after the accident was call Target to tell them I wouldn't be in. I was on hold to talk with a manager when the cops came. The asshole told me to get off of the phone, but I couldn't because I was on hold. I told him but he fucking open the door (I really wish I was one of those people who drove with the doors locked) and grabbed my arm so fucking hard that I have black and blues which Katie took a picture of. He also threw my phone and closed it, which basically hung up my phone. When I called Target back later the woman was very mean and gave me an attitude because she thought I did that on purpose. I told the asshole cop who did that that I could lose my job and he said I could find another one. What a fucking asshole, I'm working to go to college next semester, okay? I'm trying my fucking hardest to get money to go as far away as I can, I need a job.
They sent me to RI Hospital, which sucked but they're nicer than they are at Kent and it doesn't smell like piss there. The people there didn't seem to understand why the cops sent me there, which made me feel validated. I had to have Katie and her sister pick me up, which officially makes Katie the best friend in the world. She stayed with me at my house until my Dad came home, and he was even an asshole for a while. I feel bad because he has to bring me to school tomorrow and try to get my car back if it's driveable and if not get it fixed. It had better be driveable, because that bitch that hit me drove away. The cops were much nicer to her, they even let people stare at me, which is going to do wonders for my reputation. Oh, I'll have that cute boyfriend the same day that Ford starts making hydrogen powered cars, you just wait!
I honestly feel so far away from all the shit I want in my life. No good job, no good school, no cute boyfriend that everyone I know seems to have had at least one of. When will I grow up and become someone I can be proud of? When will cops not discriminate against me? Does anyone see why I want to leave this town now? Does anyone now understand why I hate RI so bad? I think that's why I like "The Little Mermaid" so much, because I want to get out of where I am, too, but it feels just as impossible as a fish living on land. I am thinking of going after the cops for that, by the way. I just want the asshole who pushed me and threw my phone to get in trouble, because I could hear him telling the others what a weirdo I am and I don't think it's right the way they deal with me. I bet they're proud of themselves, too and they don't feel sorry for what they did. I hate the way that when peopl e hurt me, they never feel bad. I bet that bitch is sleeping good tonight and so is my Grandma, they don't care about me. I thought Paxil was the answer, I wanted it to be the answer so bad. I just want this to end, I feel so damn miserable. I want to be happy and be where I belong with a real family who truly loves me. Bye.
*Racecar*
<< Sunday, Sept. 10, 2006@11:12 p.m.>>