Ahhh! I can finally add an entry. I wanted to update squareone, but diaryland wouldn't let me on. I was just reading some livejournals from Welfare Town, and it was so weird. It's surreal. Just the way they live and talk is so different from me, that it's hard to believe we could come from the same town.
It's been an odd day. FiFi was sad yesterday, because she broke up with Mr. Lambchops and didn't know why. I was trying to console her, and she came over my house. She left, and when I got home from walking, I noticed she was online and IMed her, asking her if she felt any better. She said she did, and she wanted to call Mr. Lambchops. So, she did, and he hung up. After that, she tried to kill herself by taking a bunch of pills, even though I told her I would try to help her in anyway I could. She got all snappy with me. So, I went offline and worked out, just to get all the frustration and anger off my mind.
When I cam back on, she had left me two messages, and it turns out she hadn't taken enough to kill herself. We didn't talk much after that. Then, today at school, she was talking to these two exchange students, but ignored me entirely. Today, afterschool, when she saw me walking home (she was with Mr. Lambchops, may I note), she told me she was sorry. I just don't know what to think about her anymore. She's just such a drama queen, desperate for attention. She does this so much, and I don't know why. She's not like me, where she lives alone pretty much, she has a whole family in her house, a brother, a sister, a mother, a father, and a bunch of cats. All I have is a father who works most of the time, and two dogs. I just don't get her sometimes, and I don't think I ever will.
I came up with a name for the guy I like, I'm calling him Provolone from now on. I'm still going to ask Carbon to get him sign in my yearbook (I'm way too shy to go up and talk to him myself, my ego is already reeling from the past week). The last day I'll ever see him is Wednesday, and it kind of makes me sad. I think I've missed my chance, but maybe if something was meant to happen, it really would. I don't really know, I just know that part of me would really like to have a guy like him around, and that part of me is just so afraid of rejection from him that it tries to block everything out. I've always been like this, though. Maybe that's why I don't talk like most of the girls in Welfare Town.
I did dream about Provolone, too, but it was mostly like how I explained in the last paragraph. Blake is staring at me now, and enjoying the taste of my Converse All-Stars. When I get my digital camera to work, I'm going to put a picture of him up, just because he's midly cute. Even though he's chewing up my sneakers that wear like slippers. There's not much else to say. I'm going to help Carbon babysit this weekend. More like provide therapy, this kid she watches tried to hide his mother's kittens, real ones! Anyway, that sure was a tangent!
Today was weird, because the schedule was messed up, and I had study last period. In study, my old art teacher from last year came up to me, and it was weird, because I thought she was just saying hi, and she has students in my study that she works with. I had my cd player on, and it wouldn't pause, so I just waved and couldn't hear her. She wanted to talk to me. She's trying to get on some teacher board thing, and she's using my work, and I had to write about it, because she had lost one of the write-ups. She said she'd buy me lunch at McDonald's and bring it to me if I filled out the form, so I did. I actually didn't care, because all my homework is pretty much done. It was just weird that she even remembered who I was, I thought most teachers didn't.
That was my day. I'm going to attempt to update squareone now. If I don't, you'll know something happened. Bye!
*Racecar*
<< Monday, Jun. 09, 2003@6:34 p.m.>>