Wow! I can actually add an entry! Woo hoo! Today is Wildflower's birthday, not that it really matters (I'm not her friend, but she is nice). Also, it was the first day of exams. There are two exams each day for the next four school days. There's one from eight to nine fourty five, and a second one from ten fifteen to noon. I only had one today, so my Dad picked me up around ten.
Carbon and Boron had wanted to go to Burger King, which is right near our school, during the second exam. I met them in the lobby, and the very fucking minute they come out, with a friend, they're all like "Let's go!". It only takes about fifteen minutes to get to Burger King, thirty minutes to eat, and fifteen more to get back. That's only an hour, and we had about two! I had to call my Dad, and I told them that, but they made me try to call him while we were walking. I couldn't get him, and I said that, and I knew he would pick me up at school before the second exam unless I told him otherwise. When I said this, though, they ignored me, so I walked away, and I don't think they even noticed. I'm supposed to go with Carbon tomorrow to McDonald's (which is across from Burger King) to eat breakfast, because we both have nothing first exam period. After that, I'm supposed to go to Welfare Captial Mall after the second exam, with Dancer and FiFi.
I'm looking forward to tomorrow, but I don't want FiFi to get all preachy or annoying, like she was this morning. I was talking to Boron about my History exam, and I was saying this stuff, and giving the answer to a question, and FiFi butted in, wasn't listening, and gave a different answer. I just hate that, and everytime I say something, she doesn't fucking listen, and just pretends to, she's like my mother the second. I don't want her to act like that tomorrow, and if she tries to make me see the Matrix 2 when I don't want to, I'll just take a bus home. I really don't want her attitude tomorrow, and I just don't feel like hearing about "Oh poor me, Mr. Lambchops loves me, and I love him, but I want to kill myself!" and all that other drama crap she pulls.
My History exam was easy, and I finished it early, so I wrote a note to Provolone, that I never intend to give him. It's just my way of saying sorry for everything. You see, yesterday was Class Day, where we said goodbye to the seniors, and sort of became seniors ourselves. They showed a slide show, and in it, was a picture of Provolone at this year's Homecoming, one of those professional photos, of him and his girlfriend, who I think he's still going out with. You might ask why I know that, but in the back of the yearbook, there's a picture of Provolone, and it says good luck and love mom,dad and Sunflower". The girl in the picture was Sunflower, because I've seen her before. I'm just glad I never told him how I felt, but I am sad, too.
I don't know why, but I've just been really sad lately. I've been kind of upset at myself, because I feel like I've had all these shortcomings over the years, and I feel like I should've been able to do better than I have. I just feel like I should have had a boyfriend by now, or at least a guy other than Perscocho who likes me. I feel like I can't really tell anyone about my true feelings towards Provolone, I think I might tell my therapist today, and see what he thinks. I don't know why I can't tell my Dad either, it just seems like such a hard thing to explain. I think my friends would get mad at me if I told them, because I always say that kind of stuff, but I think it's true. I don't know what else to say. I just hope tomorrow is good, and that I can write in this more often, eventually. Bye!
*Racecar*
P.S.-The title is part of a song, I know it makes no sense.
<< Thursday, Jun. 12, 2003@10:49 a.m.>>