Hello everyone! I'm once again in a hurry, because it's early in the morning. I finished my essay last night, which is good, because it was due today. I don't know how I'll give to the teacher, though, because I kind of have these hallway paths that not only get me to my classes, but allow me to see the guy I like, which I did yesterday. Just seeing him gives me a rush, but I really don't want to talk to him. I'm just terrified that if I even let on to how I might feel, he'll realize it and be grossed out by me. That's what has happened with most guys that I've liked, and it's just not something I want to put up with. I'd rather have him leave the high school in a few weeks, and not see him again for a while. I really wish I could see him at his graduation, but I know I can't.
I guess that's really all I've been talking about lately. I haven't been doing or thinking much else. I went to apply to Guy 4's favorite store yesterday, but they only hire eighteen year olds, which really sucks. Why are adults such assholes about that kind of thing? Only awful food shops and markets will hire you, and they all suck, as do the people who run them.
A fight broke out in front of my locker, and a guy pushed me from my locker, towards the girls' bathroom. When I shouted "Thank you!" sarcastically, he said "You're welcome!". This is yet another reason why I just don't want to date anyone. I just don't like the way that people treat me. I feel like I deserve some God damn respect. I'm a human being, I bleed, I think and I feel just like everyone else. I know other people have feelings too, but it would just be nice for someone to acknowledge mine for once.
Then, a fight broke out on the bus, so we were late getting home. I hate the bus more and more everyday, and the people on it. I'm just starting to hate who and where I am in life, every day just a little more. I can't stand being in love with people who don't love me, being alone, being disrespected and the feeling that no one really wants me around. I want more than anything to just leave this place, and I think I elaborated on that more in squareone.
I'm burning a cd right now, and it's almost done, so I want to finish up this entry. It's just a few songs, not even a whole cd, because I was just to lazy to do that. I'm sorry my entry was kind of angry. I'm not really angry, I'm just the type of girl who doesn't like to see bad things happen, not just to me, but to most of those around me. It makes me really mad the way things are in this town, this world. I just feel like I have no power to change them, and that just makes me feel worse. Bye.
*Racecar*
<< Thursday, May. 22, 2003@5:48 a.m.>>