I'm sorry that I don't write often, I really should, but I write on my MySpace alot because I honestly want Tristan to read them, not that he does. I believe he is on vacation and that's why he hasn't written anything. I'm not sure though, but I think I will wait another week before writing to him, I don't want to bother him when he's busy and think I offended him over nothing. I really like him though, I know it's stupid, but I can't help it. I'm sure you already know why though.
Katie came over today and I put some of her cds on my computer and I burned her some, though not all of the ones I want to burn her. I actually think I will burn her two more for the next time I see her, I think she will really like them. I want her to like some of the cds that I like, that way I'm not the only one who likes them, but they are truly good, as well. Did you know that I've listened to "Alive with the Glory of Love" by Say Anything about seventy times? That's kind of sad, it's mostly because it makes me think of him, and when I first started liking him. I used to listen to it everyday, I thought it would be lucky and it makes me happy to think of him, it's like a light at the end of a tunnel.
Anyway, I'm going back to school tomorrow, though I don't want to, and I'm not really looking forward to it. I made everyone at school mad that day that I got really upset, but I wasn't on my pills and I kind of understand why I was mad. I just feel like they shower so much attention on certain kids and not others, I always feel ignored and left out of the fold. It seems like everyone there fits into one group that I don't fit into. I'm not religious, I haven't been playing for forever, I'm not outgoing, I'm not preppy at all and I like bands that none of them have heard of. It just makes me feel like they don't really care if I'm there or not and they don't really accept me, either. I'm hoping that when I go to a real college, they will be more accepting of me. That place is so damn cliquey too, and I just don't think that they're very nice there. They all talk about people behind their backs, I don't even want to imagine what they say about me when I'm not around. I can't wait to get out of there.
I'm graduating for CCRI after this semester, which I guess is a big thing. It honestly doesn't feel like a big deal to me because it's just a junior college. I don't really feel like I have accomplished anything. I guess it is a big deal since I haven't been playing that long and others who have been playing longer than me are still there after three or four years, or in some cases, so many that I honestly don't know how long they've been there. I don't really care if I get a degree from there or not, I just want to go somewhere new and have a fresh start. Hopefully I will be more grounded by then.
I have to call Camille and tell her how things went, I forgot about that, so I am going to try and call her in a few minutes and maybe leave a message to let her know how it went. I should know within a few weeks or months, though my teacher was pretty confident that I got in. I would love that more than anything.
I have a lot to do tonight, like get ready for tomorrow, practice guitar and listen to some songs that Tristan wrote. He's in a band, so I have to admit that I have been wanting to hear what he's written and played on for a while now, but I keep forgetting, I want to do that while I remember. I'll write more tomorrow, I only have two classes and a about four hours between them, so I'm going to run some errands and then come home for lunch, so I should have some time to write, especially after school. I am just so glad that my general educaton classes are done. Music classes don't really have a lot of homework, besides praciting, reading and listening to music, all of which are easy for me, and not nearly as time consuming as you would think. I have to go now. Bye!-Kate
P.S.- Isn't "All I Want Is You" by U2 a good song? It's one of my favorites, and if I ever get married, I would totally have it at my wedding, I'm listening to it now, that's why I brought that up.
<< Monday, Jan. 15, 2007@7:28 p.m.>>